christmas

BOO

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote ‘every Halloween book, cartoon ghost and small child’

This evening I was watching one of my all time favourite TV series – #greysanatomy

It was an episode in series 18 and was based around the theme of the USA holiday of Thanks Giving. On the surface the idea of being grateful and eating Turkey speaks to my soul. I caught the bug of gratitude early in life, mainly from my family who made me aware of how precious my existence was, everything that we had and the lessons we learnt along the way, I also blame my obsession with the Disney adaptation of PollyAnna.

However, I’m aware that the origins of Thanks Giving has deeper historical roots in religious and cultural traditions, it has long been celebrated as a secular holiday as well and other countries such as Japan and Germany who have similar celebrations. In the UK we are on the cusp of celebrating Halloween, again behind the cheap plastic decorations and high levels of sugar, the laughter and the joy (my son seriously loves dressing up) there are deeper meaning to be had. This weekend in the village we live in my family came to stay to share in the Bonfire celebrations – deeper meaning can be found and I understand why some may struggle with the terrorist origins and the animal and wildlife issues around fireworks.

I’m cautious it may be too early to mention the C word that’s right around the corner, where we drag perfectly health trees into our living rooms to watch them die covered in glitter, fairy lights and tinsel…the excessive food and financial strain on some families. New Year is a tradition that never got a food attached to it, but a dodgy song that nobody knows the words to and the majority that sing it are too intoxicated to care.

In case you’re thinking ‘what a depressing read to a blog that promotes itself of being positive’ then BOO! I’m about to switch things up with the classic Pollyanna effect. Everybody has the right to take from the traditions what they’d like, to delve into their origins as deeply as they wish to, to dance the night away on New Year and fully embrace the event or to pop their Pjs on and eat some of the left over chocolate from Chris…(ops! nearly typed it) and as I was watching Greys Anatomy and the over worked staff who battled with life and death with just a ten blade to hand and far too much Botox came together in the final moments of the episode to be thankful for what they had, each other…I reflected on what I took from the holidays and it came down to family every time. I love Christmas because I see and spend time with my loved ones, Bonfire night was joyful due to those I experienced it with, Halloween will be magnificent as my son proudly steps out into the dark streets in his costume with his Dad as protector / bouncer, hand in hand…what I chose to take from these celebrations are the traditions not set centuries ago, but the core memories I am making with my family, these won’t last forever, they will evolve with time but I’m ever so grateful for each and everyone I do have. If that isn’t gratitude, I’m not sure what is…although before I sign off, I’d love to share with you this tiny pumpkin my Mr F carved for me today! I couldn’t resist it in the shop and it may be the best 40p I’ve ever spent but his huge hands struggled to carve something so tiny…thank you Mr F

Be someone who makes some else look forward to tomorrow

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

The world has gone topsy turvy, the universe is twirly wurly and I’m sitting here unsure of what way is up and not wanted to fall down. Amongst the chaos we can now add Christmas to the mix, so on the prescipus of my forties I thought it appropriate to write a quick note to Father Christmas.

Dear Father Christmas,

I know it’s been a while, but as you oversee the joy of the Christmas season I thought it important to touch base…last year was a quiet one with families not as together as usual, I guess that increased your work load? Anyway, this year isn’t looking that spectacular, rules are changing like a game of snakes and ladders and who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Inevitably, this is the part where I ask you for something…it’s a big one, but necessary. Oh I should probably tell you I’ve been ‘good’ – that’s a little vague, I’ve had my moments but seriously Father C things are bonkers down here, even you would of swapped HO HO HO for something a little more exotic at times.

Anyway, what I’d really like, in fact – to quote Dionne Warwick, ‘what the world needs now is love sweet love’ so whilst your blasting around the chimneys, sliding through radiators and picking up magic keys, if you have any kindness please pass it around. By all means eat the mince pies left out by hopeful little ones, save the carrot for Rudolf and nobodies judging you for the milk and Alcohol consumption that is also left your way (Side note: does milk and brandy mix well when flying?)… we really need a little love, kindness and breathing space for everyone. The human race is heavily opinionated and devicive at present, I guess it’s always had division? My gift that I’d really like to see as we step in to 2022 is kindness…perhaps you could talk to the tooth fairy, see if any of that magic tooth dust enhances kindness? *Please don’t ask the Easter bunny though he’s dealing with diabetes at present and has enough on his plate.

Meanwhile, I’ll do my part to keep my judgements to myself and will look to seize kindness where I can. I’m the princess of gratitude so it makes sense to expand my repetoir to kindness.

Kindest regards and season greetings

Lucy, aged 39 and two thirds.

Gonna go lay under the tree and remind my family I’m a gift

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

It’s the first of December and my tree isn’t up yet – as soon as it is I’ll have a little lay under there. This quote made me laugh and seemed December appropriate, I adore Christmas but can’t get behind it in November, so now the advent calendars doors have begun to open I can fully embrace the spirit of the season.

Truth be told, I didn’t pick this quote for it’s Christmas vibes, but because it said self care to me. I think the Christmas season is an extremely challenging time of year for many people. Anxiety over what to buy people, financial worries for some, others will over indulge in late nights and clinking glasses, immune systems dip and sickness is high, some may even find socialising and busy shops overwhelming, for others it’s the pressure of family gatherings or in complex families it might be making sure everyone gets to spend time with the children.

This is a reminder that you are enough. Whilst the seasonal spirit is about giving, you can’t do that if you haven’t looked after yourself. You are the gift for your loved ones; keep yourself safe, look after your mental health and just like the advent calendar, take the season a step at a time. If you don’t want to be merry – don’t force it, it doesn’t make you bar humbug. If the ‘works Christmas party’ makes you feel anxious, go on your terms – perhaps that just for a while, not drinking or not going.

Take a step back, breath and reflect on what matters to you. If it’s an over extravagant roast dinner and giving gifts that you can’t afford you may have missed the magic of Christmas altogether.

If I reflect on my favourite Christmas moments growing up it wasn’t about the toys or the meal, it was about the people I got to make memories with that are no longer with us, it was midnight mass with my Mum, fairy lights when we drove home from somewhere… okay, I loved the twiglet crisps that came in tubs, the festive films, the paper hats, the cracker jokes and playing board games but none of those things are worth the cost of my wellbeing or my families health, so enjoy the season and all the cheer in a way that lifts your spirit and doesn’t overload them.

No.

~ Fridgesays ~ 25 Comments

To quote Hamlet, act 3, scene 3, line 87

We are on the cusp of a consumer crazy season. Of crackers with plastic and wrappings that nobody wants, that are often abandoned on the table long after the plates have been clearer away. Perhaps of saying thank you for gifts that lack thoughts, need or joy.

I know this post isn’t my usual sparkly positive self. Don’t despair, I’m about to flip it around but before I do I want to empower you with the word No. (As a Teacher and a Mum I feel Hamlet needs to add the words ‘thank you’ after his quote). Balance in life is crucial for physical and mental wellbeing. I’ve written many posts about ‘yes’ – to opportunities, change and adventure that so many of us hide from in daily life. I’m a fan honestly.

However, December seems to bring excess and anxiety for things we don’t want to do.

If you feel at all doubtful, listen to your instinct and say No.

  • Say No to buying gifts for that awkward Aunt or Uncle that you feel obliged to because they buy for you. It only takes a quick awkward phone call to release everyone of this burden for many Christmas’s to come
  • You don’t need to eat everything you’re offered
  • you can say no to sprouts.
  • You don’t need to attend that party that makes you feel anxious.
  • You don’t have to wear anything you don’t want to. I am the proud owner of zero Christmas jumpers.
  • Christmas doesn’t mean ‘spend money you don’t have’ say No.

Make sure the traditions you and your family participate in bring joy, love and a sense of fun…not awkward social events. Don’t become one of the three kings that bought guilt, anxiety and fear. Many of the innkeepers said No and it led to a way cooler version of Christmas. Baby Jesus born in a stable gathered by animals is all the better for its simplicity.

Saying No doesn’t need to be negative, it’s in fact a tool that can bring a huge amount of joy and relief. Balance is where joy and happiness can be fully embraced. This holiday season say yes to things that make you warm and smile, politely decline things your instinct tells you will add stress, keep the holiday season simple and stay present in all you do. It’s a recipe for the perfect Christmas.

Be happy, it drives people crazy.

~ Fridgesays ~ 23 Comments

Anon

Despite the fact it’s still November consumerism seems to be taking hold of the nation/globe following Black Friday…the Friday sale that lasts a fortnight. Christmas chatter has taken over many blog posts and is the topic of conversation in our staffroom. Panic sweeps the nation. And I stay firm. I will not get swept into a frenzy on what I’m doing, got to do or who I haven’t bought for (the answer is nobody yet). There is plenty of time. However, I adore Christmas and refuse for it to become a burden. I stand firm in a smile. When asked how I feel about ‘all the catering’ I reply with a smile and say it’s an honour to have family to feed. I am not a saint but I know one thing to be true. Being happy really does drive other people  nuts. “Ohhh I don’t know how you can be so relaxed, I ordered the Turkey in June” hehe…yup and I was busy enjoying the start of summer.

It also means that for the people I dislike, hate and wish would disappear I increase my sparkle, smiles and graces – why? Because it pisses them off and reflects the stress and chaos back at them. I will not absorb negativity from them. It’s my super power and a skill that you should consider as a New Years resolution – forget weight loss, make 2018 the year you choose to be happy.

I choose happy because it makes me happy, it makes others happy and it’s contagious.

Christmas Day will come and go whether I stress or not. The dust will gather again from the moment I flick the duster, the bills will get paid and all those tasks on the ‘to do list’ will eventually be over taken with other tasks and thousands of other ‘to do lists’ but for now I am blissfully happy drinking a hot cup of tea after an intense yoga session, and for now and for always ‘I choose happy’ (and tea) (same thing)

Have you ever picked positivity as a power to piss others off?

Zoe’s Christmas wish 

~ Fridgesays ~ 12 Comments

I hope the festive season is all that you hoped for, that santa was kind and loved ones (where possible) were near. I have a story that I’d like to share, it’s my interpretation of what Christmas means and it doesn’t involve a Mary, or a donkey – it does however involve an awesome thirteen year old called Zoe and some light up Polar Bears. 

Let’s set the scene…it’s mid December and just before the real FC jumps in his sleigh and works some serious overtime the wonderful local Lions charity come around our village with a santa representative on a sleigh (back of a van) with loud music, lights and elves that collect change but also give the children gifts. Last year my little man adored it but sadly for all sorts of reasons the event wasn’t happening this year. 

Enter the heroine of this story, Zoe. I’ve never met Zoe but I have read Facebook messages from her mum on our village page. Zoe has the gift of Autism which means traditions are sacred to her daily structure and the Lions charity event formed part of her Christmas preparations. However it wasn’t the disruption to herself that was the cause of her angst, she was devastated that the children in our village would miss out…

In her words: ‘the children won’t get flutterbys (excited) if santa doesn’t come or give an early present. Mummy can we make a grotto in our garden? I will buy the presents myself with my pocket money and the children can come here to get flutterbys…I don’t want the children to be sad.’

Zoe took her own pocket money and bought lots of toys, she wrapped them and then a few days before Christmas, she (via her Mum on the Facebook page) invited the children of the village to her front garden, lights ( some seriously cute polar bears), sweets and a gifts were on offer and best of all (in my little mans eyes) a snow machine. 

Her Mum mean while was worried that nobody would attend. We did and so did many others. Unfortunately we arrived too early to meet Zoe as she was overwhelmed by the people and the noises and stayed in her room, popping in and out when she could. For Zoe the event that was a few hours in length caused sleepless nights and an abundance of anxiety. However, an update on the Facebook site later that evening thanking everyone for coming and mentioned that she did come down, stayed and even spoke to some people. That’s seriously courageous. 

I’m blessed to work with teenagers aged eleven to sixteen and they often have a bad reputation. I’ve also worked with Autistic children for most of my working life. The behaviour issues and negativity of the condition are well known rather than the potential they offer. At a time when people are consumed by wants and desires;  Zoe made the choice to give to complete strangers, she has taught my family about love, compassion and giving which is what the season is really about, isn’t it? 

The event also meant that Zoe had to defeat the constraints that Autism can have in order to be part of the event, she was resilient and in my  opinion brave. For one evening she over came the fear, the sensory overload and she won. She won my heart and she taught me and my son the true meaning of Christmas. 

*Thank you to Zoe and her Mum for letting me share this tale with you all. 

Need and want…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

 This quote comes in many variations and has been used in a variety of contexts.

When this popped up on my fridge I found it ironic – seriously December is a month of indulging, luxury and pleasure for most. However, after some thought it made sense and I realised its timing was perfect.

A reflection on Christmas gone by reminds me of family traditions and memories made…I don’t remember many of  the gifts – just the thoughtful ones, and the board games and laughter…and I need them.

My son is bombarded with questions of what he ‘wants’ and at two and a half it changes daily and is often whimsical and without thought. He has all he ‘needs’ and although we will indulge and create memories as a family I know that this is what counts and what we will all remember.

Now before I re title this post ‘bah-humbug’ I should probably confess to over spending on loved ones, I’m definetly planning on over eating (ohhh I love a buffet) and trimmings will be purchased and admired – crackers, napkins, twinkly lights, the tinsel is up and the tree looks awesome, presents will be wrapped with precision and love…and glitter gel pens! 🙂

My fine line: I will remind myself that it is just one day, that I am blessed and that after the day I am still blessed. We will go for a walk on Christmas Eve and absorb the colourful lights and snuggle indoors to a cheeky drink of something that warms the soul (for once probably not tea) and watch the same film we watch every Christmas Eve…the indulgence of family and the luxury of time, balance is what makes my fine line.