best life

If it’s still on your mind, it’s worth the risk

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

Mostly, I write to remind myself of lessons I need to learn, sometimes I write to capture lessons I’ve learnt so that you the reader don’t have to, today I’m writing for you. Perhaps you have a risk that won’t leave your mind. A step you’ve considered taking and have reasons not to take. This post is for you.

I’d like to tell you how I climb the highest mountain in the world even though everyone said I couldn’t…alas, this is not my story. Mine is a lot less riskier but I’m hoping the moral may resonate with you.

Yesterday I was at home and really wanted to eat some chip shop chips. No other would do, my son suggested getting some from the freezer and adding cheese on top. Whilst I know the value of cheesy chips – I also know that when I really want something and it won’t leave my mind I have to make it happen.

After about forty five minutes the thought hadn’t left my mind, I turned a podcast on – of course they were discussing chip shop chips! I took that as my sign, I jumped in my car (invited my family but they were all content at home and thought my need for chips was a little insane) and drove to the nearest chip shop.

I parked up and walked to the shop, I asked for them to be opened, meaning I could eat them immediately. I added a ridiculous amount of salt and vinegar on to them (if we’re doing something then let’s do it properly) I then strolled down the street content, at ease and extremely happy, I ended up walking past my car and following the river edge, as I walked I made a list of all of the things I was grateful for (number one was my bag of chips) and felt content. I stopped at a swing park and popped my empty wrapper in the bin, sat on the swing and felt content. Content on a swing is even better, you’re at peace and you’re flying…it’s a win win situation.

I headed to the car, rang some friend’s and drove home. My little detour lunch trip allowed me to come home revitalise and I carried on with my day. Sometimes a spontaneous solo date is what your soul needs and sometimes it’s chips. In my case it was both.

The risks were low but I’m hoping sharing this silly story inspires you to live bravely, to serve your dreams, your ideas and commit to achieving what you want to do. Often if an idea keeps on replaying there is something in it, looking back I’m unsure if mine was about chips at all? Perhaps I needed a dash of alone time, to get out of the house, a walk in nature…or perhaps I did need chips? We don’t have any guarantees in life, we don’t know when our last chapter may end, but we can eat the chips if we have take action and make it happen.

*the writer of the post takes no responsibility for you the reader now craving a bag of chips, or going on to live an inspired and awesome life.

Don’t wait for the opportunity- create it.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

This blog post was inspired by one of my tribe, I was telling her a tale over the phone and she said ‘Lucy, that’s a blog post’ despite me sounding insane, here it is…

Sometimes we can alter things that no longer serve us, stale relationships or toxic work environments…other things like paying bills and most adult responsibilities still have to be done. I deal with the miserable moments by reframing them, it doesn’t change the action but it changes the way I feel towards the action. Below is the story I shared with my friend.

I really hate putting diesel in my car. It feels like invisible money is being consumed and it’s not the actual act (of getting out of the car and filling the car up) that I dislike it’s paying for ‘pointless things like Diesel’ – I should probably note here, that I’m totally aware that without said product my car won’t run, it’s a necessity and as my job requires me to drive to various places and I opted to live in the countryside – fuel allows accessibility and is an essential…but my inner child just thinks it’s a terrible way to spend money and often a lot of money.

Last year I purchased my dream car. I talk to her all of the time, out loud and as if she were a person. Notice ‘she’ has pronouns and yes I’m that person that named my car. * not all cars, only the ones I truly love.

Last week I was coming out of work and had been in the office all day, as I approached my car I said aloud ‘ooo I love that you waited for me here all day – thank you, I do hope you had a lovely day too’ at which point a man (no idea who he was) said ‘it’s been ok’ – of course he would assume I was talking to him, we were the only two humans in the carpark, my then British upbringing quickly allowed me to reply ‘I’m pleased – and I do hope you have a lovely long Easter weekend’ *cringe. Obviously like any sane woman myself and my car had a good laugh when I was safely locked inside.

I digress, back to the pumps – even with a car I adore, I still hate paying for fuel. It actually makes me feel sad and even if my boyfriend is kind enough to fill it up for me, I still feel naff about the fuel and money situation.

So, I reframed it. I now give my car a once a fortnight vitamin top up. She has a full tank of vitamin B7 that helps her run efficiently, she deserves it, she’s earned it, she’s a legend and deserves the best. I would happily give her a spa day… if she wasn’t a car. I also use to go weekly to top up, but although I don’t run the fuel low (she’s a Queen after all), I find limiting the ‘vitamin top ups’ also helps to raise my positive vibration. Honestly, buying diesel now isn’t an issue like it was.

If you’ve read this far and are worried for my sanity, I fully understand why. I think the fact I know I play games (totally race cars on duel carriage ways that don’t know we’re racing, always thank green lights when they are in my favour….always thank red lights – they’re slowing me down preventing me from coming to harm in the future if I hadn’t stopped) in my head and I’m aware that not everybody else does is ok. Mainly, because everyone else looks a little miserable and for all my faults, I’m honestly a genuinely happy person.

If you’re able to take advice from a lady that talks to her car, then my advice is simple. If you have a chore of part of your universe that gets you down – think about how you can reframe it for a positive. I briefly mentioned the thanking lights game, however often when I stop at lights I see frustrated drivers, sometimes even angry drivers behind the wheel due to a red light stopping their flow – that can’t be healthy for themselves or other drivers on the road? A quick reframe can make a mundane task a little more bearable. Enjoy.

Old keys won’t open new doors

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

I’ve been fortunate to pass through many doors, some old and some new, some in foreign lands and my favourite – my front door to my home.

However, the truth is that not all doorways serve us and not all corridors to those doors benefit us. Ridiculously as humans, we often continue to walk pathway’s that we know don’t serve us…just because it’s familiar and comfortable, often not even noticing that old habits lead to old outcomes.

I find that doorways are often the larger goals in life, so instead let’s focus on the windows. What would you like to see in your life? Take one new ‘vision’ and focus on that. You know yourself better than anyone else in the universe, so how best can you work towards that vision? How can you create time to build a new habit into your day, to prioritise action? Great news, it often doesn’t mean you have to extend your day by waking earlier or staying up later, it usually means you have to think of a habit that doesn’t serve you and swap them over. For example, I spend a lot of time reading each week but I barely watch television. Personally, I adore books and find they enrich my world and whilst I do enjoy small amounts of television, I prefer to watch something with purpose, rather than just because the TV is on. Lowering screen time allows me to build in time to pursue my reading and also means I enjoy the television I do watch when I choose to. These small windows of joy collectively can help you reach your target doorways – whether that be the doorway to health and well-being or a doorway to financial freedom.

However, old keys for doorways from the past that aren’t aligned with who you are or who you want to be are often useless. They keep you in the past and lead to the same familiar places, again this isn’t always a negative but it’s worth taking time to reflect on the doors you do open.

So many kisses, so little time.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Atticus

I’m so excited for 2024, I’m unsure if it’s the even numbers, the hope in my heart or the fact that I’ve been swept up by vision boards and manifesting?

Regular readers will know that I often pick a word to encapsulate my hopes for the year ahead. It helps to build a vision for the year and your personal achievements. For those of you looking to travel, you may like ‘explore’ or ‘clarity’ if you haven’t got a clue what you’d like to achieve! If you are feeling overwhelmed then ‘survive’ is also 100% acceptable, this word is for you and nobody else.

This year my word is bloom.

There are so many aspects of my life that I’d like to blossom in, but this year I will be wrapping it with a bow of romance. Having been in a long term relationship for nearly fifteen years, I don’t actually mean the lovey dovey type. Instead I mean the self love romance, the slowing down and taking time to enjoy the simple pleasures the world offers us. If you think you could do with some romance in your life and the idea appeals then below are some ideas on how you can romance yourself and those around you during 2024.

Buy yourself flowers: a simple idea but I’m not talking about the supermarket type thrown in the basket, instead support small businesses and go to your local florist, take time to pick a selection of the flowers that make you smile. Take them home and display them in a spot that you get to admire them in. You could even extend the love and send some to a friend or loved one for absolutely no reason, which in my opinion is the best reason to receive flowers.

Brunch or coffee date: This requires you to calendar some time to yourself and pre plan some time away from the world. That in itself is a luxury for most, to maximise the time – take yourself to your favourite cafe and enjoy an hour for yourself. Dating yourself is cheaper alone and you can recharge your battery, the benefits also include to having to make small talk although you will guarantee you’ll have to pay the bill.

Bath time: if leaving the house is too complex, simply lock the door to the bathroom and create a mini spa at home. Use the ‘best’ bath salts you have, perhaps a hair mask or face mask and relax. This recharged hour is bound to help you feel sensual and loving, I usually take a hot drink or glass of fizz with me for indulgence. *bath toys are not permitted in sight!

Simple pleasures: often if we take our minds back to the romantic moments of most classic films the ‘aww’ moments are often other people being thoughtful and kind. This year I hope to ‘bloom’ by simply slowing down and enjoying the present moment. Rather than eating breakfast whilst wandering around the house and completing mediocre tasks at the same time as shovelling mouthfuls of cereal in your mouth (full disclosure- this was totally my reality this morning), take two extra minutes to slice some fruit or present your breakfast in a bowl that makes you smile. When having a cup of tea, grab a saucer – add a biscuit of the side ‘just for cuteness’ and pause.

Romance is often about time standing still, whilst most of us don’t have that luxury in our day to day lives, we can often plan to spend two minutes extra on a task that might just make you feel two times better about life.

Romance yourself because you’re worth it and enjoy the ride. If you think of any other ideas then please leave a comment below or reach out to me on social media, as I plan to do all these things in 2024 and more! I may even disappear on a weekend city break at some point and use romancing’ myself as an excuse…

The pen is the tongue of the mind.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Miguel de Cervantes

I began this blog on Boxing Day 2014 and have been writing weekly since.

Rarely do I miss a week, but sometimes life has to take priority. There have also been periods of time where I have posted several times a week or the odd spontaneous post that bursts out and needs to be immediately shared. Whilst I would be the first to say that some posts are better than others, some that are repetitive in meaning or vibe…I’m proud of this little corner of the internet. Today, I wanted to share some aspects of the writing process.

Magical memory: I often have no memory of writing posts when I read them back, many are as unique to you the first time reader, as to me the creator. I don’t often read my posts but when I do I’m often surprised by my own thought process. I’m sure within the literature world this has an official term, but to me it’s magical. I initially began the blog as I had an all consuming nine month old baby at the time and needed a place just for me. I’ve always been creative and motherhood didn’t fulfil this aspect of my world. *I also gave birth to a child that’s allergic to craft products, writing and anything ‘arty’ (unless it’s monster related) so knew I needed to look outside the mum gig. That aside, it always fascinates me that I don’t recall writing the words I read back?

I write like I speak: Friends or colleagues that have read my blog has remarked that it’s like listening to me chat with them when they read, again, this probably has an official term but I guess all I’m doing is letting my thought process explode across the screen. It makes sense that it would ‘sound’ like me, after all, everything else I do from the clothes I pick to the food I enjoy all has a sense of me.

It’s cheaper than therapy: I’m very aware that my target audience when writing is often me. Whilst this may sound selfish, I know from comments that the blog often resonates with others but like most things I honestly need to write, like you need to hydrate or relax in-front of the TV. Typing away and fulfilling my duty of completing my weekly post is something I need to do, so even when family life gets frantic my self care process is to find a few minutes to set aside to write to you guys. I often end up writing what I need to acknowledge in my own world, or thoughts that resonate with my experiences at the time of writing.

Give it a go: When I began the blog it was the social media thing to do, most people read blogs about most topics, a little cliche at first, I had a mild case of inferior complex but now it part of my routine. Like most people who have passions, I would certainly encourage you to give it a go. If you ever wanted to write – do it! For me, it gives me a place to leave my thoughts, usually with a positive message or meaning that I hope leaves you the reader feeling a little more seen or less alone in a world that can often be negative. I also enjoy the comments you leave and if I’m honest the stats some posts receive and the places in the world people read it.

Thank you for taking the time to read, especially to regular readers. Extra special thanks to my Mum who has been my editor since day one…and spelling or punctuation issues blame her 🙂 Again, if you think 2024 might be the year you give writing a go, I strongly encourage you to, it’s cheaper than therapy and you may just help others by sharing your knowledge or writing points of interest.

You could be anyone if you put in the time

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Connor McGregor

Time – the post precious gift we are all guilty of wasting. When I read this quote I instantly thought about several aspects of my own life that I don’t give enough time to, or would like to give more to. I wonder if it’s the same for you?

As we approach the new year you can put your time into huge life changing resolutions, and if you have a plan to pursue your dreams and desires I urge you to throw caution to the wind and go for it…in fact, stop reading this blog post and go and do it now. If however the person you’d like to be is a little healthier, takes on a new habit, develops a new skill then time can be your best friend.

This year I have given time to meditate and to yoga daily. Meditation is now embedded into my daily routine and is non negotiable but yoga is something I want to excel in 2024. I know that I’ve made a huge leap in my daily practise this year, but I am also aware I can do longer sessions and advance is several positions. Yoga is something I will give more time to.

There are many things I’ll do to achieve this, from writing down what the positions are that I’d like to work on, to going to a variety of classes, to making daily practice nonnegotiable. However, none of these are possible without me making time to do this and more importantly prioritising time when there is little to spare.

As we step into the last chapter of this year, who do you want to be? Where do you want to spend your time and perhaps just as important to reflect on, where can you save time? Giving yourself and those around you the gift of your presence is something you can’t buy for from a store, once it’s gone it can’t be replaced. Spend it wisely…

What’s yours will be yours

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

As an only child I grew up thinking everything was mine and all about me, if I’m honest not a lot has altered in four decades.

However, viewing the world through envy can often get the best of us, in a world skewered by social media filters, images of distant tropical lands be explored and pretty patterns on coffee floats somehow gloating ‘perfection has been achieved’. That said, I think envy and jealous moments are natural and can give us motivation to new goals or opportunities. I find it uncomfortable when the green eyed monster pops in for a cup of tea and I am mentally healthier if they are kept at a distance.

I recently saw a Instagram reel that said in 100 years nobody will know who you were on a personal level and in 200 years most people won’t be remembered at all. It went on to say that the house you work hard to pay for will belong to a new family, your possessions scattered amongst people you haven’t met or didn’t know, most in landfill… the post was intended to make me feel care free, less materialist and joyful of this new perspective. It honestly left me feeling hopeless and overwhelmed with a ‘what’s the point attitude’ however, as we move into the season of materialism and Christmas overwhelm we can easily be affected by what others have, the need to keep up and the focus on what matters can be shadowed by excessive Christmas lights and the smell of cinnamon.

It’a easy to write that material objects don’t matter, that when you die – you cant take them with you but at the same time it’s wonderful to receive a parcel wrapped up with you in mind. What do we do?

Like usual, we balance the things that matter to us. Perhaps your neighbours have a better house, your brother drives a newer car with a higher specification than you…if cars and houses aren’t your thing and you like to travel, put your focus on travel and hope that your car starts in the morning. If you care about your appearance, if shopping and having beauty treatments brings you joy – do this. What’s yours is meant for you. Everything else and everything that everyone else has is just a distraction. A distraction from your authenticity.

In relationships I strongly believe if you’re meant to be together then you’ll both put in the effort that is needed, if only one of you wants the relationship the other ‘fighting for’ it will only suffocate the process. Remember sometimes we think we want something and there is often something better to come. You don’t have to fight for what’s yours.

Instead let me lend you my only child ‘leading lady’ attitude. Focus on yourself, work towards goals that mean something to you and not because you’re trying to keep up with your peers. Congratulate those around you when they achieve what they desire, but just because number 22 has new windows doesn’t mean you need to follow suit. By focusing on yourself and your goals you’ll find that you can materialise the experiences, feelings and targets that mean something to you much more efficiently.

Do more of what makes you happy

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

This is a quick post today to take a moment to reflect. What makes you happy? Perhaps an easier question is what do you enjoy doing? Sometimes ‘happiness’ can feel out of reach and often is experienced as a fleeting moment that comes and goes.

We can often become overwhelmed by the ever growing list of things we should be doing and forget to make time for the things we enjoy simply because we enjoy them. We wait for excuse to celebrate, to break open the fizz or wait for an occasion to make the effort to see loved ones…

Todays advice is much like Nikes slogan: just do it. Book the theatre tickets, book the plane tickets – see the world, or don’t see the world. Grab a cup of tea in your favourite cup, add your favourite snack and read a good book. Step into your authentic place of happiness

You are worthy of a life that makes you smile. A life that is sprinkled with moments of joy. Surround yourself with people that love you and that you love in return and don’t waste your time in relationships you’ve outgrown or people who don’t have your best interests at heart.

If I reflect on many of my happiest moments, the great news is they often financially cost very little, if anything. They always involve my loved ones and some last longer than others. Imagine a world where you prioritised how you felt as much as you made time to remember to put the bins out. Now imagine everyone in the world prioritised their happiness and not just their own, but took others peoples happiness into account. How incredible would that world be and how many of our planets struggles would dissipate? It all starts with a sprinkle of your own happiness and a reflection on what matters to you.

Beauty starts in your head not in the mirror

~ Fridgesays ~ 1 Comment

Quote from Regina Daniels

Growing up around many different kind of women and then blossoming into one myself, I’ve learnt many things about beauty.

Firstly, I noticed that the women in my life that didn’t love their body shapes didn’t look in mirrors. At least, not large full length creations. Instead small and practical mirrors were used ‘when necessary’ and for practical purposes.

Another woman taught me that beauty was something to aim for, but because it was aspirational but that if you had time to worry about appearances, blemishes and colour combinations then you probably didn’t have many worries in your life.

If I combine these two thoughts alone, then I think that this quote might be slightly off track. I believe that beauty doesn’t start in the mirror and nor does it start in the head. In my heart is where I store my compassion, love and respect. These are needed as a foundation when glaring at self. What you see isn’t always how you perceive your reflection to be and it may tell as different story to the one in your head. Scars can tell magnificent stories of triumph and bravery but they can also bring sadness, despair and shame. Of course to alter the story and be comfortable in your reflection you need to rewire your brain to reframe the memory and this can take time.

Beauty isn’t usually as superficial as the world might let us believe, we often find beauty in unique traits, the small details and the imperfections of others. We often struggle internally to give ourself the same compassion.

When I was 13 years old I was at a party and a boy told me that I couldn’t dance as well as my friend. Instantly I felt scorned, judged and ugly, my instant reaction was to hide. However, I come from a loving home and was raised on a pedestal. I have always psycho analysed behaviour traits in myself and others since forever. I allowed the boy to ruin the party for me, I did stop dancing and I went home early. At home I thought about the minute details of the dancing I had done and what I need to do to improve, then it occurred to me…who the fuck does he think he is? How dare a boy who I barely knew feel he could judge me? By this time, I was fuming and angry that I’d allowed someone I had never invested in, ruin my evening. I don’t believe in holding on to negative energy, I never have and so at school on Monday I approached the boy in my English class (he sat directly in front of me) at the end of the lesson and I asked him if he had enjoyed the party and importantly if he was ok? Confused, he stated that the party was ‘ok’ and that he was fine. I reminded him of the comment he had made to me and that I thought it was odd he had commented, as we weren’t friends and I didn’t realise he was a dance teacher, I ended the rant (to which the boy just stared at me) by thanking him for having my best intentions but that as I was already attending dance classes I wouldn’t require his input in future.

My appearance is nobody else’s concern (unless I’ve once again forgot to put a coat on, then even middle aged I may still need my Mum to remind me), how I dance is nobody else’s concern, I can decide to absorb other peoples views of me, or simply thank them for their time and move on. When I look in the mirror I can choose to view myself with love or criticism. What do you choose?

You can do anything but not everything

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote has several origins

This week I was listening to one of my regular podcasts, Kathryn Ryan’s – ‘Telling everybody everything’ and she mentioned this premise in one of her recent episodes. We can often feel guilty for not being the best partner, as we are also being the best mother and at work we are full time committed to being the best employer/employee…it’s a perpetuating circle that often leads to unfulfilled happiness within ourselves, as we can’t be everything to everyone…oh and did I mention, we also need to have wonderful self care regimes, self love, a nutritious diet, regular exercise and quality sleep? It’s a to do list worth aspiring to but one that often is unattainable. Whilst I fully agree with this, I think it’s crucial that we teach our children that they can have it all, just not all at once.

I want to provide my child with all the opportunities to succeed and to become whatever he would like to be. At this point his interests are wide and skill sets are vast, he really could be anything when he decides on a career path. My son is happy, healthy and loved. These are nonnegotiable, but recently I’ve been teaching him how to balance responsibilities and the various elements of life, why? Because you can do everything and be anything but you can’t do it all at the same time.

It’s a skill that isn’t taught in school but one in which I try to role model for his current and future wellbeing. I do this by speaking my thoughts out loud and then explaining how I’m going to complete the tasks; it could be as simple as explaining that I want to go and have a bubble bath, I need a face mask but the washing needs loading, hanging and I need to clean the bathroom. I’ll then explain how I’m going to make the list workable (I’ll wear my face mask whilst cleaning the bathroom or I’ll run the bath and before I step in I’ll pop the washing on… I also think it’s essential to also role model asking for help and also compromise, so I may explain I won’t have time to clean the bathroom and have a bath, but I can have a shower after cleaning the bathroom, or I’ll say if I make time for a bath could he help me by hanging the washing out? So often team work and a sharing of responsibilities is essential so that the family unit can thrive.

This may seem like an obvious post but as a Mumma in 2023 where dreams seem an instant attainable option by clicking a link, I do want my child to dream big, but also want him to be grounded and have strategies to achieving those goals. So, if you are preaching the positive quotes that ‘What my fridge says’ inspires, make sure any little ears also have access to techniques to help them achieve. It’s worth reflecting, as recently my son had a party to attend but also had a homework task due, by the time the evening came around he had done ten extra minutes in the days leading up to the party (without my prompting) to leave him free to go off and enjoy himself, in his own little way ‘he had it all’ and that’s as skillset I can get behind.

Dream big little dude.