Ego’s trip but the humble doesn’t stumble

Quote Anon

On Monday I took the opportunity between appointments to throw on my wellies and go for a walk in the forest opposite to where I live. I drank in the sun and for extra dose of wellbeing I listened to an Oprah podcast which was about the ego.

As I got into the centre of the forest, I felt truly privileged and proud that I’d carved out this time for myself. Little did I know a huge lesson was about to be delivered from the universe.

On the other side of the forest from where I was walking was a bench next to a low stream, on the bench I saw something but couldn’t make out what it was? I walked over to investigate. As I grew closer it was some abandoned litter. Instantly I became furious that people could be so selfish.

I then read the bench plaque and became outraged for the man who’s memory the bench was installed, upset that the inscription referred to his love of the woodlands…and then I turned to walk away, after all my ego whispered ‘it wasn’t my litter’

It was like the forest slapped me across the face, I probably only turned 10 degrees, the lesson was served to me in milliseconds – before the grief of my own ego hit me. If I didn’t pick the litter up, who would and if I wasn’t prepared to right a wrong why should anyone else?

I’m embarrassed to write that I didn’t instantly grab the wrapping but this is the lesson. This is how I learnt it and I’m hoping by sharing it with you, you won’t have to learn the lesson with hesitation like I did.

As I picked up the litter with both hands the podcast still playing in my ears shared the Eckhart Tolle quote:

“You do not become good by trying to be good but by finding goodness that is already in you and allowing it to emerge”

Nobody in my opinion is better or worse than anyone else, I also think much of the litter we see on the south coast where I live isn’t always dumped by litter bugs; Mother nature’s use of the wind is sometimes unhelpful and the seagulls that surround my area certainly don’t help the situation. Had I of not rethought my actions the lesson would of been missed, I hugely stand by the principle that the kindness of people happens in the cracks of the shadows. When the world isn’t looking are you still as kind as when it shines a light on you? If your behaviour doesn’t alter, that to me is authentic. Sometimes however, we are human and the ego whispers unhelpful words in our ears and much like a sweet wrapper in the wind, we get swept away.

This post isn’t about who’s better or worse…that would give ego more energy, I’m certainly embarrassed by my hesitation. However, I learnt my own truth, the universe tested me and it’s not a lesson I want to relearn any time soon. I also believe that my spontaneous trip and timely podcast choice were destined to deliver me to a new lesson that I was open to hearing. I was prepared to drown out my ego and listen to my soul…when was the last time you truly listens to your intuition, to the lessons the world is waiting to share? I’d love you to share them in the comment section of this blog. After all, we can all learn from each other.

It’s not your job to like me, its mine

Quote Anon

Early this week I saw a quote from Mike Tyson (actually the Mr sent it to me – the old romantic) it said “Social media made you all way to comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face”

Mike made a good point, there is a freedom when you hide behind the screen, people say things they never would utter face to face, within school I’ve seen hundred of arguments, torments and cruel words typed amongst friendship groups, usually from children that in person would never say boo to a goose, least of all a friend that last week slept over their house

However, there is a new disrespect online that I think its even worse…when people apologise for being themselves…

“Sorry about the mess in the background of this photo but”

“Mum of three and I’m exhausted, sorry for the lack of filter”

“its late at night and I can’t be bothered to do my hair”

“even a filter can’t save the bags under my eyes”

“I know I need to lose some weight, but I wanted to show you my dress”

To be being authentic is the most sexy, empowering and wonderful thing anyone can do. I am tired of seeing immaculate images of the ‘perfect’ home on instagram, the manicured look, the woman holding a vintage bike (that we all know she is never going to ride) and holding a bouquet of flowers over her face, I’m tired on the pastel brick walls and the quirky corner of the home….Give me the messy buns, the chaotic livingrooms full of too many plastic toys and a coffee cup that was abandoned circa 2017… its life, its real and it comes with its own beauty. Sure its lovely to see pretty homes and I’m certainly going to share with you when I’m off out somewhere fancy (well pre 2020), I’m also partial to a pretty front door (it comes with being in your thirties) but please love yourselves.

If you can give yourself one gift in this chaotic world…love yourself more. Love your crooked nose, the belly that housed your children, the dress with the pockets…its not always easy to love what you see in the mirror but a drip feed of daily kind words is a good start. Talk to yourself how you would do a friend, or at least stop internally talking to yourself when you think mean things.

We are all something pretty special, we are all unique. Make sure you leave an authentic virtual footprint of awesomeness behind you and never apologise for being yourself

She remembered who she was and the game changed

Quote by Lalah Deliah

Pause. Take a moment – in fact take two. Today’s inspiration is taken from every child I’ve ever met.

A child knows what they like, knows what they don’t like and there isn’t much in between. Somewhere between childhood innocence and becoming and adult we get caught up in what society might think of us, we buy into lies that more money, the next promotion, if we had those shoes, bought that phone, had those items that we’d be happier. Often (except for the shoes) we are wrong and the promotion brings more exhaustion and takes us further from who we are. The noise of the world, the routine of life can often take us so far away from our original truth that we can wake up one day in our twenties, thirties and beyond and not know who is reflecting back from at us in the mirror.

One of the great things I found about lockdown life was it stopped so much of the outside noise. It forced time at home, it gave many people time to reflect, to appreciate the smaller things in life – perhaps what they already have, what was right on their doorstep?

But now what? As lockdown eases (or doesn’t – I’m never sure where we are with it?) we need to take action, perhaps step out of our comfort zones, re-examine ourselves, look at the path we are on and if necessary be brave enough to alter it.

It doesn’t matter if we are talking about redecorating a room, taking up a hobby, altering a relationship or perhaps moving house, emigrating, or having a baby…it all requires the same thing. Action and a sprinkle of truth…one small action will move the domino of life and you will quickly see the joy as the dominos fall and the satisfaction in each tumble, if you ignore your truth the dominos can still tumble but this time it’ll feel out of control. Stressful. Overwhelming or perhaps even worse – the dominos will always stay standing. To play a successful game of Dominoes you need to think, perhaps do the unexpected but ultimately the pieces need to move. Much like the game of life, perhaps the pandemic gave you time to reflect and today I’m posing the question, have you acted upon your intentions? Are you being truthful to yourself?

I have begun skipping and I’m enjoying it more than I thought, I needed to add some cardio to my world and although yoga will always be my go to, I’ve committed myself to 30 days of 500 skips. Whilst its not a full blown exercise regime I’m enjoying seeing my progress and feel its a step (or skip) in the right direction. I had the same revelation when I did the couch to 10K – I’m always surprised at what I can achieve when I actually action something, rather than procrastinate. What’s your next move to a better you?