traditions

BOO

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote ‘every Halloween book, cartoon ghost and small child’

This evening I was watching one of my all time favourite TV series – #greysanatomy

It was an episode in series 18 and was based around the theme of the USA holiday of Thanks Giving. On the surface the idea of being grateful and eating Turkey speaks to my soul. I caught the bug of gratitude early in life, mainly from my family who made me aware of how precious my existence was, everything that we had and the lessons we learnt along the way, I also blame my obsession with the Disney adaptation of PollyAnna.

However, I’m aware that the origins of Thanks Giving has deeper historical roots in religious and cultural traditions, it has long been celebrated as a secular holiday as well and other countries such as Japan and Germany who have similar celebrations. In the UK we are on the cusp of celebrating Halloween, again behind the cheap plastic decorations and high levels of sugar, the laughter and the joy (my son seriously loves dressing up) there are deeper meaning to be had. This weekend in the village we live in my family came to stay to share in the Bonfire celebrations – deeper meaning can be found and I understand why some may struggle with the terrorist origins and the animal and wildlife issues around fireworks.

I’m cautious it may be too early to mention the C word that’s right around the corner, where we drag perfectly health trees into our living rooms to watch them die covered in glitter, fairy lights and tinsel…the excessive food and financial strain on some families. New Year is a tradition that never got a food attached to it, but a dodgy song that nobody knows the words to and the majority that sing it are too intoxicated to care.

In case you’re thinking ‘what a depressing read to a blog that promotes itself of being positive’ then BOO! I’m about to switch things up with the classic Pollyanna effect. Everybody has the right to take from the traditions what they’d like, to delve into their origins as deeply as they wish to, to dance the night away on New Year and fully embrace the event or to pop their Pjs on and eat some of the left over chocolate from Chris…(ops! nearly typed it) and as I was watching Greys Anatomy and the over worked staff who battled with life and death with just a ten blade to hand and far too much Botox came together in the final moments of the episode to be thankful for what they had, each other…I reflected on what I took from the holidays and it came down to family every time. I love Christmas because I see and spend time with my loved ones, Bonfire night was joyful due to those I experienced it with, Halloween will be magnificent as my son proudly steps out into the dark streets in his costume with his Dad as protector / bouncer, hand in hand…what I chose to take from these celebrations are the traditions not set centuries ago, but the core memories I am making with my family, these won’t last forever, they will evolve with time but I’m ever so grateful for each and everyone I do have. If that isn’t gratitude, I’m not sure what is…although before I sign off, I’d love to share with you this tiny pumpkin my Mr F carved for me today! I couldn’t resist it in the shop and it may be the best 40p I’ve ever spent but his huge hands struggled to carve something so tiny…thank you Mr F

HABITS become TRADITIONS become LEGACY

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

December is certainly a time where traditions are falling out of Santa’s sleigh in abundance. Stepping into the New Year we often analyse our habits and try to improve them for the year to come, whether that be by exercising more, eating healthier or taking on a new challenge.

This all makes sense in a world where I often reflect on what I’ll leave behind. What will our legacy’s be? A positive mark on the world or consumed so much plastic it’s a long discarded tooth brush with DNA on it that will last the longest?

This December I learnt that traditions are only positive if they serve you and those around you. My family ditched the Christmas crackers many moons ago – we just don’t need the naff novelty toys, plastic and excessive paper across and already cramped table. I didn’t replace them with anything and rarely anyone comments.

With the controversial lockdown Christmas’s of 2020 we learnt that it was the people around the table that mattered. The food an added bonus. This was a lesson I hope remains long after the pandemic.

Last year our Turkey wasn’t fit for human consumption and the Boxing Day beef was brought in a day early…it was just as delicious and it caused my rebellious streak to build momentum. The result was that this year I really mixed up the menu – the result was meals from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day where everybody enjoyed what they consumed. Many favourites from the Mr’s love of Yorkshire puddings, to my sons delight of macaroni cheese played a part (not in the same meal I should add) and although we all had full plates and content bellies, little was left over and nothing was wasted, to the extent that my Mum took home the small Turkey carcass to make soup with. It also meant that I didn’t spend half of Christmas chained to the kitchen side board and had more quality time with those dearest to me. What did I learn? That traditions become shackles if they don’t serve you in this moment. If you don’t like Turkey, stop consuming it every Christmas and Thanksgiving.

I remember growing up and walking to school with a friend and our Mums closely nattering behind. In the run up to Christmas we would share the traditions of our homes; it always throws me that the same celebration has so many variations in each home. She would discuss how her and her brother would open their stocking and then wait until their Grandparents arrived to open presents in the afternoon, that boxing day food was a buffet of curry’s. I would share how Father Christmas went nowhere near our house and would deliver to the Garage at the end of our back garden, my Dad would bring down what he had left (even at a young age I was hyper-vigilant to child protection when it came to strangers) I would then blitz the unwrapping in seconds leaving a floor of discarded wrapping paper behind me like the Tasmanian Devil had popped around for a cuppa. Our Boxing Day was a buffet of ‘picky bits’ and when we shared these stories warmth from both our interpretations of Christmas were at the heart of each tradition.

What doesn’t serve is when everyone in the room dislikes the tradition but does it anyway…the wonderful thing about nurturing a family is building habits that become traditions, but that also have enough flexibility to alter before becoming legacies. As we step into 2023 you’re pretty darn perfect just as you are, you don’t need to do more or less of anything. However, the best habit, tradition and legacy you can leave with the world and into 2023 is to love those you surround yourself with. Remember, those that are hard to love, usually need love the most. Have a wonderful 2023

Need and want…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

 This quote comes in many variations and has been used in a variety of contexts.

When this popped up on my fridge I found it ironic – seriously December is a month of indulging, luxury and pleasure for most. However, after some thought it made sense and I realised its timing was perfect.

A reflection on Christmas gone by reminds me of family traditions and memories made…I don’t remember many of  the gifts – just the thoughtful ones, and the board games and laughter…and I need them.

My son is bombarded with questions of what he ‘wants’ and at two and a half it changes daily and is often whimsical and without thought. He has all he ‘needs’ and although we will indulge and create memories as a family I know that this is what counts and what we will all remember.

Now before I re title this post ‘bah-humbug’ I should probably confess to over spending on loved ones, I’m definetly planning on over eating (ohhh I love a buffet) and trimmings will be purchased and admired – crackers, napkins, twinkly lights, the tinsel is up and the tree looks awesome, presents will be wrapped with precision and love…and glitter gel pens! 🙂

My fine line: I will remind myself that it is just one day, that I am blessed and that after the day I am still blessed. We will go for a walk on Christmas Eve and absorb the colourful lights and snuggle indoors to a cheeky drink of something that warms the soul (for once probably not tea) and watch the same film we watch every Christmas Eve…the indulgence of family and the luxury of time, balance is what makes my fine line.