setting boundaries

Will burn sage and bridges as needed

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

As we enter 2026 and pack away the Christmas glitz for another eleven months, we might be tempted to declutter our spaces. However, today’s post is about decluttering our energy.

I’m a huge fan of saging or using palo santo in my home. In fact there are many ways I reenergise my spaces. The woo woo meets science suggests that saging kills all energy leaving a blank surface, the bleach of the spiritual world so to speak. Palo santo just removes the negative energy, so is more like your kitchen disinfectant – a little less intense and leaves the positive energy behind. I use both depending on what I feel the space needs and whilst I cant scientifically prove it makes a difference, I can tell you it makes me feel like I’m taking action to improve my living space and energy, how I feel is often all I can control.

Another practice that I do is blow a pinch of cinnamon from the palm of my hand over the threshold of my front door, this is meant to invite money and abundance into my home, again no proof it works but it makes me happy.

Bridges are easier to burn but harder for people to do. If you don’t enhance my life (or those around me) I’m unlikely to contact you. If I’m the one always making contact, I will stop. It’s your loss.

When it comes to taking down bridges there are two aspects that often don’t get discussed. The first is that bridges can be rebuilt or upgraded. If you realise that a friend is no longer a joy but a burden, take the bridge down, if things alter you can always rebuild a new bridge, it might be smaller but friendships can be reestablished. When we discuss knocking down bridges and taking people out of our lives, we often think about the process like we blew the bridge up with nuclear weapons – never to return, in some cases this is useful but in others a little break can often allow you to reflect. Secondly, you get to decide what bridges you cross. You get to decide who you spend your time with. If we return to our bridge analogy then you are the toll booth manager. You say who crosses your bridge and when they can return, you also might need to complete repairs on your bridge eg. You both may need to reanalyse your relationship and give it the attention in needs. Bridge building is complex, much like relationships. Clear boundaries and communication are often important, less so that bridges perhaps.

Either way, as we begin a new year do what you need to ensure the space around you is positive. For some it maybe decluttering (always in my house), redecorating (always in my house) or making time to prioritise things that you want to achieve, be that eating less processed things, reducing sugar or exercising regularly. Whatever it is, always prioritise yourself.

A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

I was just doing an evening session of yoga and I had a revelation.

In primary school there was a yellow line prohibiting you from touching anything fun…things like brick corners, areas where cars might be, a crazy paving concrete slope ( it was the late eighties) and it taught me something that literally until ten minutes a go I had never thought about. It taught me that boundaries were to be broken. I should probably tell you that I was a good girl but that at least once a week I’d slide my Mary Jane patent shoes across the line in act of rebellion…obviously never getting caught and in retrospect of my good girl nature we are talking millimetres not empowering jumps of anarchy. It never occurred to me that boundaries and the yellow line of forbidden treading was to actually keep me safe?

My competitive bones have never really developed but as I rolled into my twenties I did develop an inner competitiveness within myself. ‘No’ is a word I choose not to have in my vocabulary, again recognising it as an unhelpful verbal yellow line of doom. The only child in me often plays games in my head where I beat other people, complete tasks in set time frames and obviously secretly plot to over throw anyone that should ever imply I can’t do something…again I’d never thought that these words were to keep me safe?

…I’m now wondering how I’ve actually made it this far without serious injury?

With this new knowledge in mind, I invite you to think about your adult perception of boundaries, are they purely a hurdle to jump, a task to complete or unlike me something to run from? I then invite you to find balance within the word boundary…it’s already got a few of the letters so you’re half way there. Do you need a revelation like I just had and need to step closer to the concept of safety or perhaps you are bubble wrapped in the playground lines of your childhood and need to be freed from them. Either way, like most aspects in life boundaries need to be established for your own wellbeing – tell those you’re in a relationship with what you will and won’t stand for, remind your manager (in appropriate tone) what you are paid and not paid to do…and also relax within those safety perimeters…seriously who would of thought a playground rule could have such a lasting effect on the mind?