resilience

Head up twinkle

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote from Fridgesays

Sometimes I don’t feel like writing. It could be because the week has been busy, I’m tired or I’m just lacking a clear vision of what to write about.

It’s in these moments, I have learnt that success is a step away. As a result, I usually make myself write something or I take a half written post and complete it. Why? The world won’t stop turning if I don’t write each week but my mental health won’t be as sparkly, my satisfaction level won’t be as joyful and honestly, it’s often the posts I don’t feel like writing but do anyway, that attract the most readers.

The attitude of resilience and keeping going when things feel hard, the art of consistency is a dying one in 2024. Giving up is easy when other options are abundant but pursuing the unattainable is hard, but as previously mentioned often when success lays.

I shared this with a friend recently and she said it was the same for her when she went for a run, the wet and soggy, cold and muddy days where staying in bed for an extra quarter of an hour and not going to run are often her best runs. Not only the satisfaction of doing something hard that will enhance oxytocin into our bloodstream but also create new learnt pathways to our resilient threshold will allow us to learn from previous ‘I can’t be bothered’ situations and lean in to the experience rather than hide under the duvet.

That said, it’s also important to distinguish within ourselves the difference between not doing something because we don’t fancy it and not doing it for a valid reason – such as our health or wellbeing. There have been times where I’ve needed to rest due to exhaustion or being run down with a virus, to make myself write or my friend to go for a run in poor health would only lead to further illness and negative outcomes. Whilst most readers make think this is obvious, in a toxic positive culture it’s important to remind ourselves that our boundaries are crucial to keeping us safe and ‘out working’ the person next to you often leads to depression and feeling inadequate than living our best lives.

And just like that, I’ve written a post about not wanting to write. I hope that this week a task that may feel heavy becomes lighter because of this post. What I can guarantee is that you’ll see the benefits of continuing and improving, that you’ll strengthen your neuron pathways for future growth.

Don’t stress, do your best, forget the rest

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

It’s exam time in the UK for GCSE pupils and upper KS2. In our house this means a week of SATs exams for my son and a week of invigilation for me. I’ll be driving around the county and making unwelcome visits to office staff in Primary schools (office staff don’t like you if they don’t know you’re coming) to check exam packs and secured correctly, exam spaces meet criteria and ticking off many boxes on many forms…

The advice I’ll give the schools and the advice I’ll give my son is the same.

Don’t stress: Being a little worried, anxious or excited about exams can be a good thing. It can help motivate, focus and fuel your adrenaline in a positive way. Being stressed is a step too far, it can send your body into a negative cycle leading to sickness and brain freeze, may mean you can’t think to complete your exams. Unfortunately reading ‘don’t stress’ isn’t that helpful, instead sleep, nutrient/ hydration and knowing that you’ve revised means you walk into the exam knowing all you can do is your best.

Do your best: You can’t control external factors such as the weather, or what questions will be asked, you can’t do anything about circumstances occurring in your family. You can enter the exam space and for that hour give it your best with the circumstances you walked in with. To do this you need to slow down, read the questions and pause before you write your answer. Most marks are lost because people have misread and interpreted what the question is asking due to rushing. You can only do you, leaving the space knowing you couldn’t have done better is a wonderful feeling.

Forget the rest: My advice that students often ignore, is try not to chat about the exam before or after with friends. Everyone saying it felt easy when you’ve just struggled in the exam doesn’t make you feel confident for your next exam and nor does hearing comments like ‘what about the question on the back page?’ And you’re thinking what back page??? Despite these comments amongst friends often being well meaning my advice is to avoid any exam speak. Only you need to know how you feel things went or will go. Worrying about an exam that’s finished doesn’t improve the exam results, it just makes you feel stressed. Instead, make a quick exit or pop in your earphones and listen to some music, so you can focus on you.

As someone that inspects the exam process I’d also like to remind you that the teams organising it have done this before. Its important that the exam process is conducted according to protocol otherwise the exams would loose meaning, but any issues you may have will have occurred before, so share worries or concerns in advance.

The great news is that if you are worried, it’s often because you care.

Exams are a tiny moment that can’t possible capture all of your greatness and talents, they don’t reveal values such as patience, kindness or empathy. They can often be retaken and with regard to SATS these let county council know how good the quality of teaching is and are not a reflection on the child. Most children won’t even look at their results. So don’t stress, do your best. That is always good enough.