quote

Nothing can hold you back without your permission.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Trent Shelton

Permission to treat ourselves is often absent. We think of reasons why we can’t, get home and wish we had…also, if you’re like me then when you go back to the shop it’s always been sold. It’s like the universe is rubbing salt into the wound.

Whilst we are on shopping dilemmas and as it’s back to school shopping season, I’ll share a lesson I learnt when I was a child…always buy the first pair of shoes. Despite my love for those clicking, prancing, stepping creations of joy now, as a child shoe shopping could be hard…for my Mum. Ultimately, after trawling the high street and trying on every patent princess cut, cute but edgy pair of shoes, we’d always return to the first shoe shop and the first pair of shoes I tried on.

The reason for this quote today was I wanted to share a story I overheard on a recent shopping experience. A little old lady was in my favourite crystal shop, currently it’s appointment only and so I was waiting outside. She was purchasing her items and ecstatic at what she was taking home, she explained that she had won £50 on the premium bonds and wanted to treat herself to something special. At this point I told her how beautiful her stones were, basking in the joy whilst waiting outside, as she passed me outside of the door she winked and whispered “of course I’ve spent the £50 several times already”. I smiled back and she shouted “you can’t take it with you”.

She’s right, of course you’ve got to have the funds available to keep spending. However, this blog has never been about financial advice instead I’m interested in her attitude and as I spoke to the shop owner as she walked away we discussed how the £50 win had allowed her the permission to enjoy spending, treating and indulging herself.

Over the years I’ve often spoken about self love, care and worth. I truly believe that just as we invest in things we care and love; our children’s well-being, health and happiness, presents for loved ones, our home…we often forget to invest in ourselves.

Of course, I reiterate that if you haven’t got it then you can’t spend it. If you can and it will bring you joy, happiness, a growth in wellbeing or improve your health – do it. Material goods often don’t bring us as much happiness as we think they will, many of my friends have wardrobes full of clothes and many still have the labels on…

However, buying with a sense of joy and a conscious intention for the item can often increase our level of wellbeing. So if you have the money and need a sign to buy that item – here it is. Enjoy

She remembered who she was and the game changed

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Lalah Deliah

Pause. Take a moment – in fact take two. Today’s inspiration is taken from every child I’ve ever met.

A child knows what they like, knows what they don’t like and there isn’t much in between. Somewhere between childhood innocence and becoming and adult we get caught up in what society might think of us, we buy into lies that more money, the next promotion, if we had those shoes, bought that phone, had those items that we’d be happier. Often (except for the shoes) we are wrong and the promotion brings more exhaustion and takes us further from who we are. The noise of the world, the routine of life can often take us so far away from our original truth that we can wake up one day in our twenties, thirties and beyond and not know who is reflecting back from at us in the mirror.

One of the great things I found about lockdown life was it stopped so much of the outside noise. It forced time at home, it gave many people time to reflect, to appreciate the smaller things in life – perhaps what they already have, what was right on their doorstep?

But now what? As lockdown eases (or doesn’t – I’m never sure where we are with it?) we need to take action, perhaps step out of our comfort zones, re-examine ourselves, look at the path we are on and if necessary be brave enough to alter it.

It doesn’t matter if we are talking about redecorating a room, taking up a hobby, altering a relationship or perhaps moving house, emigrating, or having a baby…it all requires the same thing. Action and a sprinkle of truth…one small action will move the domino of life and you will quickly see the joy as the dominos fall and the satisfaction in each tumble, if you ignore your truth the dominos can still tumble but this time it’ll feel out of control. Stressful. Overwhelming or perhaps even worse – the dominos will always stay standing. To play a successful game of Dominoes you need to think, perhaps do the unexpected but ultimately the pieces need to move. Much like the game of life, perhaps the pandemic gave you time to reflect and today I’m posing the question, have you acted upon your intentions? Are you being truthful to yourself?

I have begun skipping and I’m enjoying it more than I thought, I needed to add some cardio to my world and although yoga will always be my go to, I’ve committed myself to 30 days of 500 skips. Whilst its not a full blown exercise regime I’m enjoying seeing my progress and feel its a step (or skip) in the right direction. I had the same revelation when I did the couch to 10K – I’m always surprised at what I can achieve when I actually action something, rather than procrastinate. What’s your next move to a better you?

Escaping is not changing

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Quote from Ross Welfords book ‘Time travelling with a hamster’

You may of noticed I didn’t publish anything on Sunday, I just couldn’t find my writing flow (which is very unusual for me), so instead I have 4a handful of half written posts that I’ll deal with another day. This afternoon I saw a quote in the teen fiction book listed below and my inner blog danced like the world was watching. I’m also a huge fan of Ross’s work.

2020 the year pretty much nobody is going on holiday, no escaping and yet so many changes. I think travel offers both a quick escape get away or a profound change. I remember my friends brother returning from Australia and as he walked in the door he didn’t look like the boy that left?

Escapism has its place, I personally find mine in books and creative outlets that allow my imagination to explore momentarily.

However, when things go wrong in life we often as adults find quick fixes to dull the sense, from drugs to alcohol or we pack and leave certain that the grass is greener. Of course lawns are complex organisms and need the right level of sun / water ratio…very quickly we learn that all grass has the ability to die and look dishevelled (ours is green thanks to the high ratio of moss) and our old patterns we attempted to escape from reincarnate with new relationships or jobs.

Change is usually beneficial but comes with sacrifice and hard work. Change requires bravery and a trust of instinct which can be hard to summon. So often we go for the easy option; in lawn maintenance this would be the artificial option.

However, the ebb and flow of life requires change. Nature changes seasons and it’s sometimes brutal, things die back and then grow again with a new depth. Natural disasters have a way of destroying but also rebuilding.

I think a combination of both is always is useful, sometimes we just need a brief chapter of escapism but sometimes we need to put the work in, be brave and make huge changes so that our lawns of life can thrive. There is often more reward in change than the temporary delay that escapism brings. How do you escape and what would you like to change?

When you focus on the good, the good gets better

~ Fridgesays ~ 3 Comments

Anon

This quote makes me smile and then makes in practise is frustrating, like all things – it’s much harder to apply.

To master this it’s best to break it down into two parts, let’s begin with focusing on the good.

Focusing on the good: as mentioned previously I keep a gratitude diary and begin my day by scribbling down three things that I’m grateful for, for me personally it’s an instant energy boost to what I have, before I roll out of bed and any potential dread from the day ahead can creep in.

There are other ways you can focus on the good, during early lockdown I sent many handwritten letters to friends thanking them for the part they play in my life. Saying thank you is underrated energy booster for everyone (you and the recipient) but again instantly makes you feel a sense of positive connection.

Meditation can also help to refocus on the good when you feel imbalanced, or simply planning an indulgent meal to look forward to can help you to focus on the good and raise your vibration.

The good gets better: now we have established some appreciation with a dash of gratitude and a dollop of good will, you’ll notice that the next bits effortless. Much like riding a bike or any new skill the learning bit at the start is hard work, often feels like hard work and takes hard work BUT once you’ve acquired the skill, you’re off! The enjoyment increases and you can sit back and feel fabulous.

Forgive me for sounding like Pollyanna (the Disney film is in my top 5 Disney films of joy and my favourite childhood film) but once you give out good will, good vibes and general positive energy – you attract even more with little effort. Just keep noticing it and you’ll see even more to be grateful for.

A warning: before you send me a list of reasons why your life is horrendous and you’ve nothing to be grateful for. You found this post, which means you have internet access and you can read. Many don’t have these * I did warn you the Pollyanna affect can be irritating.

Extra warning: just because you chose to see good, focus on good and in doing so align with seeing more good, DOESN’T mean life won’t be bad. Sadly, good things happen to bad people and vice versa. However as good and bad events are going to enter our life anyway, I’d rather see them with my Pollyanna spectacles than sink in doom and gloom.

Is your glass half full or half empty?

Whatever makes you find the sun from the inside out chase that

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote from Gemma Troy

Multitasking Mummy is currently in my sons piano lesson. Whilst I wait for him to find the middle C and test the patience of his teacher I had a thought. As someone with no musical talent – I feel super inspired to see a teacher pour out passion. He is a classical pianist and as a teacher I’m enjoying watching the sun in him shine.

When my son was first born, we as parents were his entire sun, moon and everything in between. As he learnt to talk, walk and move away he looked for his own light. As parents I see one of my priorities (beyond keeping him healthy and safe) to give him as many opportunities as possible. What he decides to do with these is entirely up to him.

I think allowing him to be himself and not projecting my sun light on him is hard. Motherhood gave me permission to be his spokes person, to voice what was best when he couldn’t speak. As he grows I need to learn when to speak and when to step back, allowing him to grow in his own truth.

However, despite its difficulties seeing him light up and finding his own sunlight is the largest reward. For myself I know where my inner light shines; good food, cuddles, yoga, beach walks and house plants are just a few. Writing also activates my internal light.

Make some time this week to shut out the world – the bright lights from everybody else’s joys and the chaos of sirens can often lead us down false pathways, to step inside yourself (although not literally as that would be really messy) and ponder the sunbeams that you hold inside, sometimes they are long forgotten activities – like sitting on a swing or colouring, you may be surprised in what you relearn about yourself, but I promise if you make time to chase the sun inside yourself, the outside world will glow with joy.

Don’t make change too complex, just begin.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

When I was a child and had to revise for exams or complete homework of little interest, I would procrastinate like my life depended on it. I’d sit down, stand up, get a drink, go back for a snack, doodle…anything to delay the revision, until I was so tired or it was too late to bother.

Luckily along the way I grew a little more patience, a cup full of endurance and a scattering or resilience to help me power up as an adult me…but I still have my moments.

Currently across the nation / world the majority of children are still home schooling, well meant to be. In the last few weeks I’ve met with children and their parents and similar messages were echoed out “She started off well but…” or “Unfortunately we never found a routine” others have thrived, particularly without social pressures lifted from them or the demand of being up early and ready to learn in the classroom before 9am.

The great news, I promise from a teacher to you, is nobody is behind. We’re all in this together and come a time when our classes are back to bursting the magical skills of a teacher will prevail. Every child is unique, learns in different ways about a range of different things to a future carved out specifically for them.

However, as the quote above suggests some momentum is needed. For pupils that have lost their way and are overwhelmed with deadlines – I’ve emailed support by asking them to complete one piece of work and then to show me…a sense of completing something, recognition in making progress and a step (no matter how small) towards the never ending mountain is sometimes enough to take another step…a few more and change occurs. It’s a magical moment between and idea and a result. It can’t be pinpointed but it’s a sweet spot of success that occurs before the challenge or change is complete.

Better still, it can be applied to anything at any age; learning a new skill, stopping a bad habit, altering your life to align with your dreams, it all begins with a tiny thought and a small gesture – the rest is called living.

*Best of luck if you are a home schooler or are the adult with no idea what you should, shouldn’t be doing and perhaps even google can’t tell you how to do it…you care enough to worry and that’s all you need to do. Keep them safe, loved and healthy. Nothing else matters.

Labels are for jars not people.

~ Fridgesays ~ 3 Comments

Quote anon

A quote that says so much more. I could leave it here…but that wouldn’t be what this rambling blog is all about. I relearnt this lesson today after a person claiming to be enlightened told me in the same sentence that she didn’t judge ‘however’ it reminded me of when people say “I don’t mean this offensively but”…it can’t be done. I quickly realised that I had triggered her and although she believed the conversation directed at me was coming from a place of non judgement, her frustrated emotions were stirred in for extra joy. A quick conversation with a dear friend reminded me that her words weren’t aimed at me, they were a reflection of her and where she was at. It ended well, I killed her with love.

Then my thoughts begun to spiral and I realised that this was a life lesson. Don’t label people, it puts expectations on them that can’t consistently reflect – we’re all only human after all. Perhaps more importantly be cautious when labelling yourself. The business world loves a lanyard – we adore to give humans titles and when we meet people we often begin by introducing ourselves by our profession and round the conversation off with a bullet point twirl of our lives.

We assume that all doctors want to heal, all postmen like early mornings and walking, all runners are fast, that lifestyle instagrammers have it made, that celebrities love the fame…we also know, with a blink of refection that this isn’t true. Just because someone goes to university doesnt mean they are more intelligent than those who haven’t, but yet we often as a society judge those vey things. I can see why.

Labels bring a level of comfort, particularly towards someone we have just met. I can imagine the chaos of my larder if the tins were all label-less, in fact it would make evening meals like a game of Russian Roulette. Tonight we might have a chilli with kidney beans…or it might have peaches in it, tasty.

Food labels are really handy, they can inform you of sell by dates, ingredients, allergies, cooking directions but tinned food is consistent in its weight and ingredients …human are a little more complex, thank heavens. We can be skilled in one area, but not another. We can be vegan on Monday and choose to eat cheese on a Wednesday. We aren’t static. We weren’t manufactured on a production line. We can change and alter, we can make mistake’s and then realign.

If I were fully labelled like a jar of pasta source, my label would be huge! It would contradict itself, be as thick as a thesaurus and ultimately wouldn’t serve me or you the reader. So, lets all stop claiming to be a simplistic as the jar of pasta, open the lid of life and tip out the contents into a mixing bowl of love.

‘Written by Lucy; Teacher, quote lover, house plant addict and mother’…oh the irony.

The first wealth is health

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Regular reader will know that I only usually post on a sunday evening, then last week I did a midweek rant and now…I thought I’d give posting when I wanted a go for a while. During uncertain times I alway write and need to increase my vibration, writing helps and so this is my therapy.

I might be one of the very few that isn’t anxious any longer. I’m not very good at prolonged time in a negative mind space and so I’m taking each day at a time. In this moment we have all we need and more. My family is safe and we all have our health, that’ a blessing that I will never take for granted.

Mother nature was kind to the UK and gave us a large helping of sun, another thing I never take for granted. Its helped to boost my mood and gave my family a little more space in isolated times. As I topped up on my vitamin D today walking my son (the dog came too) I realised that once you distance yourself from the hype and panic, detach from the mass media where possible and reflect.

Growing up I always remember adults asking what I wanted to be when I was older, the implication often being financial or integrated with my current interest, perhaps the purpose of that questions when we ask it as adults should be a focus on health and well-being. When we don’t have it, we have very little.

Be careful who you trust. Salt and sugar look the same

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

We can often listen to our thoughts and think they are truth, we read things and think they are fact or we see things and believe all we see. Sometimes we even feel emotions and blame others for making us feel that way. The truth is we are solely responsible for how we feel and who we let make us feel a certain way.

When we watch a magician we know he/she is fooling us for our entertainment. It doesn’t take away the joy, in fact I remember watching a live magician and trying to work out how he pulled the rabbit out of the hat, it was part of the fun! *Never worked out where the Rabbit came from? A Rabbit seems a little large for a sleeve…

When we watch soap operas we know the storylines aren’t real, the character isn’t really hurt and again it’s all for our entertainment. Imagine the insurance prices if you lived in Albert Square?

When we read the weather we don’t always take it as truth, often geographical errors are made, Mother Nature has her own ideas and we except that despite the weatherman said it would rain today we missed the opportunity to hang the washing out.

When we watch or read the news we allow our guard to go down. We think everything we see is fact. We forget the lessons from school about sensationalism and persuasive vocabulary. We forget that journalism isn’t always based on first hand knowledge, or that like a prism it’s often given angles to make us consume the information in a specific manner.

Please don’t believe everything you hear or see on the news. You know your own health needs and whether you need to shield, how careful you need to be, what works best for you and your loved ones.

Put salt on chips and sugar in cakes, mix them up and it tastes vulgar, believe and feel everything the news wants you to and you may experience an increase in anxiety, stress and fear. The news can be a great source of information, but remember they are often politically aligned, can be sponsored by mutually benefiting corporations. If you are looking for a sugar high its also not the most high vibrational way to spend your time, you may find it increases anxiety, you may only hear headlines, or interviews the broadcaster wants you to hear, these out of context can make you feel low.

We can’t start over but we can create a new beginning

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Quote by Zig Ziglar

When asked if I’d like to relive my teenage years again, I’m not sure I would? Would you?

I believe that everything happens as it’s meant to, with lessons of light and dark along the way…some opportunities we pass up or miss, others we seize which take us to the next opportunity, be that light or dark. However, I do think much like a book we all have chapters, some merge into each other like subtle subtitles, others have huge landmarks chapters where we shift our sense of self, perhaps overcome a personal battle, experience a wave of emotions or a new aspect of ourselves leads us to take on a new identity; as a parent, leader, carer.

What does worry me is some people dislike the chapters that they are writing daily and they do nothing about it, except perhaps feel sad, lonely or lost. The idea of starting again can see so overwhelming that they can’t conceive it’s possible. Fear nibbles at their ankles, doubt knocks at their door daily and they let it in.

If this resonates with you, you aren’t alone. Change can be terrifying, debilitating and contagious. Recently I’ve learnt the ‘one tribe theory’ and it can helps you to make the changes needed.

The Change doesn’t really matter, whether it be to lose weight, learn a new skill or hobby, start a new career path or perhaps retrain…you need one person who thinks it’s a good idea / supports you. You needn’t bother telling the members of your tribe that are submerged in fear, once you’ve got momentum you can pass the word around and include them.

To begin with you share your vision with one person, you then take one action towards your goal (enrolling on a course), you then that another action (attend the course)….with this kind of momentum you are now unstoppable.

Report back to your one tribe member the positives as you go, you may even need them to help you work out ways of getting around obstacles, but the getting going, the turning up is always the hardest part.

You can’t start over, you can’t change the past BUT you can create a new chapter of your life story…find your tribe member and plant the seed…best of luck!