A memory is a star or a stain

Quote by d.j

When you started to read this blog, even though it was a few words a go…it’s now in the past. Every microsecond a little drop in the ocean of your life. We can’t remember all the individual droplets and we often romanticise the past, interpret to meet our current thoughts and feelings and in doing so change the horizons perspective. Constantly in motion, life is very much passing us by.

Don’t panic. We aren’t meant to be present in every moment, some days I’m grateful not to remember some aspects. I do however believe we are often our happiest when we are ‘in the moment’ not thinking ahead to what to plan for dinner, what needs doing later, feeling guilty for chores we should have already done.

Wherever you are in life, whether you have a sea of wisdom behind you or a puddle of doubt, it can be useful to reflect on if that’s how you want your life to look…are you a storm of chaotic tides, holding your last breathe before you’ll be swept to the next wave of drama or a calm lake that’s so serene it’s dull?

To carve a life worth living I often think you need a little of both, the stains of life teach us incredible lessons and can also easily be removed bleached by the sun. Light gives new perspectives just as stars have guided seamen home from long travels.

Stars, the brighter moments of life that can give us wonder, joy and direction can often start or become stains. Marriages that have gone sour, life that has become death, the ‘perfect’ job that consumes your soul.

Where am I going? Don’t sweat the stains, they can be softened with age, memories blurred or abandoned. My sons stained T-shirts covered with memories of spaghetti bolognaise can often disappear with a sunny day. The stains make us and the stars take our breath away. Both have a place to make for a wonderful life.

Never let your storm get your kids wet

Quote Anon

When I was little my Mum took me and my friend to school in snow on a sledge. She heaved us through the streets on a few inches of flakes. It was joyful (well for my friend and I), when I was older my Mum and I went to a huge market. I drove her in my brand new two seater convertible. Once we’d walked around the stalls we decided to head back towards the car park – the heavens opened and if I say it rained I would be underestimating your understanding of rain, it was more like walking through a giant wave. We laughed because it actually hurt as the rain fell from the sky, we couldn’t believe we’d got caught and giggled all of the way home, grateful for heated leather seats and every time we glimpsed each others sodden exterior we erupted in laughter again.

That by the way was a metaphor, one that unpicks this quote. It resonated with me because this week I have come across too many children exposed to adult topics of conversation and worry. No matter what your circumstances the storms of life that bring you down don’t need to be shared with little ears, processing these can often lead to trauma responses for them as they take on adult emotions. If you are carrying something heavy, you can either work towards putting it down or carry it away from your child.

Finance or lack of and rising living costs in my opinion aren’t concerns for children. Exposing children to adult addiction’s often mean the children grow up within the shadows of these circumstances. That said I’m not sure we should paint adult life as sunshine and lollipops, we can sometimes laugh in unfortunate times, we can take the positive from a negative situation and we can role model self respect, resilience and endurance when storms approach. This has to happen at an age appropriate time, exposing the child to witness elements of storms from a distance before the rain hammers down on your doorstep, or putting in place boundaries around relationships and potential hazards.

Varying weather conditions are expected in the UK. Temperatures can dip overnight and summertime can sometimes mean taking a coat when you leave the house. Wrap your children up close and don’t expose them to unnecessary burdens. If I had a coat and my son didn’t, I would instinctively give it to him. Do the same with your words.

The difference between pizza and your opinion is I only asked for pizza.

Quote from Anon

This corner of the web is my place to share opinions, beliefs and ideas. I share them for my own sanity and hope that you the reader are inspired, motivated or are able to take away a glimmer of hope. It’s your choice to click the site, to read and I’m glad that you do. You don’t have to – unless you’re my parents, in which case you are bound by the supportive nature of the role.

Let’s discuss pizza for a moment. The strong carbohydrate base that supports all of the goodness above it, the foundation of all great decisions. The melted cheese that’s brings joy to the palette, the tomato sauce that clearly knows its place – hidden under the joyful melted cheese…then any toppings that YOU choose. Heaven. Pizza even caters for diversity. From the controversial pineapple to the slimy mushroom (yup not a fan) you create a pizza topping bonanza that reflects your mood and taste.

I personally love pizza when it’s served so hot in burns the inside of your mouth or cold the next day from the fridge. You can eat it at lunch, dinner, snack or the cold breakfast option.

You see pizza like life isn’t simple, it comes with variables, it’s personal and it very often doesn’t disappoint. Until you’re just about to take a bite and someone passes comment.

“Urghhh why’ve you got sweet corn on it?”

” I don’t eat pizza I’m gluten conscious, vegan, lacto – licious”

Or the worst…

“I love pizza, can I try a slice of yours?”

WHAT?

You see much like the quote, I ordered pizza. I asked for sweet corn, I asked for a deep pan, I vocally made a vowel whispered between myself and the waitress of what I wanted. Like life, I will make decisions that I’ll regret (in this case sweet corn) or decisions to avoid things I’m not okay with (stuffed crusts or any testicle derivative claiming to be a meat feast) but I didn’t ask you.

I have NEVER bitten in to a slice of pizza and asked for an opinion to be made, frankly silence and pizza are a great combination.

So when I walk in a room much like pizza, if I haven’t asked for your opinion on my outfit, don’t give it. If a new parent looks exhausted they don’t need you to tell them, this became extremely apparent at 2am, 3am and 4am. If a pregnant woman waddles in she doesn’t need to hear how big she looks or be told she is about to pop. Opinions are best projected when ordering your own pizza.

If however you don’t like pizza (???) and opinions are over flowing from you. Here are three things you can do:

  • Join a pressure group or political party
  • Create your own domain / blog or YouTube channel
  • Stick the pizza in your mouth anyway

And like a book cover I am what I hide

As soon as I saw this quote my heart did a double flip, after all I love books and I adore quotes.

Probably because I love learning, I like the fact that once we open our eyes as new born’s we don’t stop until our last breath – even if we wanted to. Books are a great place for wisdom, bringing far away lands closer or learning how to rustle up something for dinner.

Book covers however, just like the human body are highly controversial. Within this corner of the internet there are many posts on judgement – so here comes my confession. I totally judge a book by its cover. (*hides head in shame) In brutal honesty I love a cover that is bright and vibrant, if it has glitter – all the better, a little embossing never did anyone any harm…did I mention glitter?

That said a couple of years ago I began to read the top 100 novels of all time, so far I’ve read some epic classic’s and once again I’ll be honest and say that often the covers of the most thrilling book aren’t that vibrant.

However, like my cover or not, I am more complex in the story I tell. If you were to meet me I have an advantage – I can decide what I tell you, how I portray me, the leading lady. I can let you have a quick flick and leave feeling satisfied or I can pour out a chapter if I think you can relate to it, but most of my chapters live inside my head and the best ones are inside my heart. They aren’t shared with the world, loved ones or enemies – some stories live in people so deeply buried that even they forget they are there.

Some people walk around with their book wide open, they have fast track pages to the juicy bits and just like a book, if you expose it to the elements, the paper will perish in time. Others keep their book sealed that it isn’t worthy of existing. It hides in the shadows and without light and adventure the pages are empty. A note book isn’t a life worth living.

This brings me on nicely to genre’s; some people are pure romantics intwined in a relationship that lasts a life time…some are thrillers, crime based tales or I’m afraid – tragedies. Then there are the purely non fiction people who only exist for a work related goal, they usually have a specialism, a niche and there book slowly absorbs the pages of a slice of life. The saddest part about books is how many words they hold. Some are epic tales with thousands of adventures amongst millions of words, commas and full stops…some are only a handful of pages before the book comes to an abrupt end.

So, whilst you work on your happy ever after, I wouldn’t worry too much about putting effort in to your cover, how you appear will probably only attract a shallow reader to the shelf. Instead, as always I’d recommend balance, perhaps invest in a strong spine to hold you together, pay attention to who you decide to share your chapters with, however should it all go wrong, don’t panic – everyone loves a plot twist. Don’t worry if the book isn’t long, we can’t always control the precious time we are given, but do pay attention to the experiences you have, the climaxes and the contrast…and when all is said and done, if you have any budget left, sprinkle a little glitter on your front cover, after all a tale isn’t great if nobody ever reads it.