love life

The things we love tell us what we are

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by St Thomas Aquinas

The things I love are: books, tea, stars, my car, disco balls, house plants, baking, cardigans, walking, art, theatre shows and hugs.

I’m not sure what this tells me? That I’m a sparkling, creative academic who likes pretty things…actually that’s probably true. It seems Thomas was correct. Not at all my intention for this post but I totally suggest you freely write a list of all to the things you love and see if it matches up with reality.

I’m unsure I like the word ‘things’ as I wanted to include people. When I think of love I think of the people that I care most about, animals and I guess perhaps walking and theatre aren’t things – perhaps things to do, so I altered the list slightly.

I think we are more than Thomas suggested, ‘we are’ the attributes of our behaviours – we are how we treat others, the values we push out into this discombobulated spinning planet. We are how we make others feel.

In death and traditional eulogies a whistle stop tour of events; birth, education, employment and marriage are mentioned. These are not who we are – these are what we did. I’ve personally never wept a tear because ‘Margaret worked in marketing for nineteen years’ but I have felt sorry for the loss of how others made me feel, kept me in mind.

We should tell people more. In life, we should share random moments of confirmation of how people made us feel. We could hand write notes, send texts or just tell people when we see them. ‘I’m a better person for knowing you because… I love you dearly because… or a simple cheers for always….’ in the month of the over priced flower, chocolate heaving Valentine’s Day that’s squished in the middle of February, instead of getting caught in the consumerism , reach out to those you are grateful for and share how you feel. Memories fade around things but how others make use feel transforms lives.

Every thing can kill you so choose something fun

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

This quote made me chuckle…mainly as it’s true. People die in unknown circumstances; taking selfies on cliff edges, vending machines falling on top of them…or medical conditions that often the patient feels came from know where, they just didn’t see coming.

In terms of our planets existence we each visit for such a small amount of time, a glint in the eyes of the universe…do you really want to spend that time paying bills?

Honestly, the answer is no but then I realise the need to feed and shelter my family and now I’m like a child at a wedding told ‘not to get dirty’ but really excited to see how deep the muddy puddle is at the end of the drive way. Whilst I’d like to retire my vacuum cleaner, launch my lanyard at my boss as I ride into the sunset on horse back (well the quote did say fun)…the reality is I do need an income and I do find comfort in the mundane. Early this week I spent an hour of my life with my son organising his wardrobe and whilst this may not be your or even my definition of ‘fun’ it was satisfying and anyone wishing to admire said cupboard should come and visit in the next few days before my Marie Kondo effect becomes obliterated by the child effect once more…

Whilst working towards a career that is ‘fun’ – shout out to a school friend kayaking down a Vietnam river in the name of ‘work’ is probably a great move forward, I realise that that option may not be open to everyone and that even those that are blessed to love our work still have to tackle administrative tasks that make us pull our eye sockets out. This is the contrast of life, the yin and the yang, the river and the eye balls.

So where am I going with this post? Much like the river in Vietnam, I believe that we shouldn’t ‘live for the weekends’ or dream of retirement slowly wishing our lives into the final chapters, nor do I think we should put off those ‘I wish I could moments’…(another shout out to the friend who’s taking a three month sabbatical to travel with his family) instead, we should throw ourselves into the bends of the river, when calm we should take time to be still and reflect and of course should a rapid appear we shouldn’t shy away from it. Fear and fun are often closely linked.

Fun can be found in cleaning cupboards, don’t believe me – check out my smile when I open my cutlery draw effortlessly. Fun (for me) can be found in my paddle boarding or in seeing my child learn a new skill. Don’t let the river of life pass you by, don’t focus on getting to the end that you miss the scenery, take the detours and spend time working out how you can bring your dreams a little closer to where you dock your vessel, because everything can kill you so you might as well enjoy the time you have now.