Multitasking Mummy is currently in my sons piano lesson. Whilst I wait for him to find the middle C and test the patience of his teacher I had a thought. As someone with no musical talent – I feel super inspired to see a teacher pour out passion. He is a classical pianist and as a teacher I’m enjoying watching the sun in him shine.
When my son was first born, we as parents were his entire sun, moon and everything in between. As he learnt to talk, walk and move away he looked for his own light. As parents I see one of my priorities (beyond keeping him healthy and safe) to give him as many opportunities as possible. What he decides to do with these is entirely up to him.
I think allowing him to be himself and not projecting my sun light on him is hard. Motherhood gave me permission to be his spokes person, to voice what was best when he couldn’t speak. As he grows I need to learn when to speak and when to step back, allowing him to grow in his own truth.
However, despite its difficulties seeing him light up and finding his own sunlight is the largest reward. For myself I know where my inner light shines; good food, cuddles, yoga, beach walks and house plants are just a few. Writing also activates my internal light.
Make some time this week to shut out the world – the bright lights from everybody else’s joys and the chaos of sirens can often lead us down false pathways, to step inside yourself (although not literally as that would be really messy) and ponder the sunbeams that you hold inside, sometimes they are long forgotten activities – like sitting on a swing or colouring, you may be surprised in what you relearn about yourself, but I promise if you make time to chase the sun inside yourself, the outside world will glow with joy.
My Christian name is Lucy and it translates from Latin to mean ‘light’ , when I was a child I had a key ring that said something corny like “you light up the room with your spirit and bring joy to all those you meet” whilst I’m not sure everyone I’ve met would agree it’s certainly something I think about when I’m in the company of new people. I try to sparkle, but it’s human nature to sometimes stick the dimmer switch on.
For me light goes hand in hand with life. In my mind I see biology lessons on photosynthesis and and the joy of brighter evenings in spring. I think of hope. Light also reminds me of truth; shining a light on the darker mysteries life can bring.
However, we all need contrast. Even this ray of sunshine Lucy needs her moments of dark. Too much of anything isn’t great. Paintings fade and plants dry out. Skin burns, life withers… that’s why I love this quote, taking notice of what the light does can mean truth, hope and love but it can also fade and kill.
Perhaps this quote isn’t about light at all. Perhaps it’s about recognising balance; when too much of a good thing becomes toxic or when too less is just as traumatic.
Life is about walking the fine line of contrast and experiencing the emotions that the good and bad bring, the light and the dark , it’s about playing in the shadows and please don’t forget all the many pigments in between. Diversity is rich when it is accepted and not divided.
This week take notice of what makes you light up, what friends make you feel lighter and also when you need the sanctuary of the moonlight, perhaps by watching the various spectrum that life offers you may need to whack on some factor fifty around individuals that burn like the midday sun. Whatever you do notice, Tess is right – act on what it tells you and you may just see a rainbow.
Our diary is always a whirlwind of dates, appointments and activity and there is a huge transition that is dominating the pages in September, you start school.
From the moment you were born and placed in my arms you have been transitioning, it has been a blessing to watch. I cannot underestimate this, many parents are worried for the loss of their babies, the independence of going to school can be concerning and I often hear comments like ‘It feels like only yesterday she was born’ or ‘He isn’t ready for school’ for you im excited to see your world grow and skills expand. I’m extremely at home in the school environment as Mummy is a teacher and this feels a blessing and a curse – I know the highs and lows like the back of my hand.
At four years old your humour is a magnet greater than any computer could create. Just this very evening we laid on your bed and you played me twinkle twinkle on your harmonica – it sounded dreadful, but your laughter was infectious as you broke out into a variation of the song which began twinkle, twinkle chocolate bar…” this is a gift that it precious, don’t let other children’s comments curve your humour.
At the moment you wear a combination of clothes and then you usually like to add an accessory or twenty from various Marvel characters, following fashion is fine but I’ll always support your creative flair and imagination.
I think you’ll like the staff and you already have many friends to play with in your class. You’ll have opportunities that I could never give you to socialise and learn, I really want you to grow in your own way, not with my regrets or desires forced upon you. To make this easier I’m going to make a few promises…
I promise not to make you do a extra curricular club because I did it, or Daddy did it…you can pick
I promise that as you learn to read, I will still read to you as long as you want
I promise to listen to you talk about your day, rather than hurl questions at you as I walk through the door
I promise you that as you grow older and forget things I will never drop a PE kit / lunch box to you, save your phone credit. Resilience and organisation are self taught by error.
I promise not to show my anxiety over your first few weeks at school.
I promise to help you in any way I can to fulfill your potential, but your happiness is paramount.
I promise to back you up when issues arise. As long as you are always honest with me.
I work full time and will rarely be at the gates, but if you need me I will always be there. I will also be there any time I can, when our school diaries don’t synchronise.
When you are older, we will look back at this September as a small step on a wonderful and exciting journey that you are taking. It’s not always a parents duty to be next to you, but I will always be a shadow.
Love you to the moon,
P.s. Good luck to the staff trying to get you to sit still and hold a pen.