growth

Little people, growing shoots, happy hearts and muddy boot.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

An extract from a poem, unfortunately I can’t see an author to give credit.

I picked the quote to remind myself of what childhood should be about after seeing a post from Emma Nicolet on Instagram, she’s an influencer and also a parent. Her post was about not giving your children smart phones. I thought I’d share how we are navigating this in our home at present. *warning: some of the content in this blog may be a trigger for some readers.

It’s important to say that in my teaching career in a secondary school, Ive seen the worst that social media and the online world can offer children. Online male pedophiles claiming to be 14yrs old boys, grooming, raping and then deleting all trace of evidence, bullying to the degree that death threats are whacked into WhatsApp messages as casual as asking ‘what’s for dinner?’, issues that occur out of school being dragged into the school community and taking up significant amounts of pastoral staffs time on a daily basis, suicidal ideation and self harm a daily occurrence where children use their devices to access ‘how to’ clips…I think you get my drift.

I also have an eleven year old child who is due to start secondary school in the new academic year and will be accessing public transport. We are fortunate that he doesn’t have a huge interest in the internet, he is your ‘sports / mud / outdoors kind of kid. We thought about not bothering with a mobile device, that he could use public phones like we did growing up…then my partner pointed out that in our rural location – there simply aren’t any. Public transport is also minimal and options are limited. He may need to contact us from time to time to be able to get home.

I’ve always made my son aware of online issues, we’ve read articles together and I’ve gathered his opinions. Last week in a family gathering (both parents and him on the top of the landing hallway randomly as we were about to leave the house) asked him if he’d like one and what that may look like. Up until now he’s always said things like ‘nah, they’re pointless and I’ll just break it’ (the kid is at least aware of his own weaknesses), however he said ‘if only they did a phone that was just a phone, then I could call you if I needed you but not all the other drama’…I then produced a Nokia 2760 (which use to belong to his Grandad) like a Blue Peter presenter ‘here’s one I made earlier’ . The phone launched in 2007 and is a very basic flip phone, limited internet and a pixilated camera phone. I then splashed out on a 99p pay as you go SIM card and he was in action, the kids worth it…

Several things then happened: we don’t need to worry about online content and group messages – he can’t access them. We don’t need to use apps to track his fancy device or worry about breaking it – we’re talking vintage Nokia, designed to be indestructible. If he looses it (when) it’ll cost under £20 to replace. Whilst he enjoys rummaging in his pocket and flipping his phone like a 90s swathe James Bond character, it’s already become practical within a few days of ownership and lost the glamour that a smart phone may have, so we don’t need to worry about his posture as he stares downwards 24/7 or how many hours he’s on the device. It’s a phone, a safety device, a tool…

This is how we are choosing to parent currently, it’s a decision like whether you eat at the table or what you allow your child to watch. It’s working for us because the decision is child led, we aren’t making him have something he doesn’t want, we are giving him something that might keep him a little safer. I’m also aware of the issues around having a perceived ‘burner phone’.

Whilst I’m sure a smart phone will be useful down the line, we are currently on the ‘stabiliser’ version of mobile phones, for us and more importantly for our child, it’s not something we need the added drama from, he has access to a laptop for homework, a gaming console (in our communal area – not in his bedroom and not online) and as stated earlier, he would rather be catching a Rugby ball than staring at a screen. However, I wanted to share our story as it may help you navigate your own journey of ‘online parenting’, I’m aware there are many apps and parental safety devices that you can install – however, I’m unsure that more technology is required to solve the problems that technology created in the first place. If this post resonates with you, please share with others, raising digital humans is hard, as parents we will never get it all correct, but it’s worth being aware that sometimes there are alternative options. Here’s to a few more days of happy hearts and muddy boots.

I’m not ageing, I just need repotting.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon.

Many of us over the last few months have spent more time at home than ever before. Its given me more time to reflect, be present and show my house plants more love.

Each plant has its own needs, much like humans. Some explode in colour, take up all the room and fight for the light. Others, slowly grow, creep and stay snug in their pots. To nourish the plants I often give them a little feed, again some prefer regular watering, but most like their roots to dry out. I’ve also now got a window sill full of babies ready to be rehomed, as I pot each offspring in their own pot, much like my son I do love watching them flourish.

It made me think about my own ‘pot’ and I’ve taken to a daily yoga practise to make room. Ive also meditated more (something I find hard to make part of my daily practise, even though I know its super good for me on many levels). On reassessment of my pot, I guess I am ready to move pots – I need new challenges and the view has become a little stale.

Bravely, I’ve taken action and am planning new pot adventures, giving nourishment to my roots, making space and prioritising what its important to my core, it’s time to top up the soil and move on to bigger things.

Today I was blessed to receive an email from an ex-pupil who updated me on her adventures, at eighteen she’s realised that adult life isn’t mapped out (no shizzle) and that a sense of purpose isn’t as accessible as an amazon prime delivery. I was extremely proud that she has been using this time to reflect, to make plans to leave her ‘pot’ in hope for more enriched and a deeper sense of joy. We don’t have to all live BIG. We don’t all need to be loud. In fact, as I age – I realise that my house plants who are brave enough to grow a new leaf, to reach out into the light…they are some of my favourites.

Make time to restore your pot, nourish the soil, eat well, stay hydrated – we are all just plants with complex emotions.

Do whatever you need to do to flourish – but don’t allow yourself to become pot bound, to wonder the ‘what ifs’ and rot over watered and stagnant just because your pot is comfortable.

Remember growing might feel like breaking at first.

~ Fridgesays ~ 7 Comments

Quote Anon but super wise

I love to light a candle, snuggle with fluffy socks and pinch the Mr’s hoodie but comfort only brings contentment for a short period of time, stay too long and the candle goes out. Nothing changes, the years pass and life stagnates.

I’m a huge advocate for self development and self care, as a full time teacher and Mummy, daughter, friend and partner – I can’t be at my best unless I first address my own health, wellbeing and happiness. My family are seriously awesome people, the children in my classes have the potential to make our world a better place, my son has only got one Mummy…to do this I need time out and I need time for me. I take note of when I’m tired and I go to bed early, I rise early and make time to exercise. Self care is the key to being the best I can be. It’s my vision that all humans embrace self love, to embrace busy days and balance them with bubble baths…so I’m being brave and currently am developing a self care YouTube channel. There I’ve typed it – I’ve told the universe.

It scares the shizzle out of me. Currently the Mr and I are learning to edit, focus, upload and do a thousand things that are beyond our comfort zones, there are no candles and hoodies to hide behind. If I want to push the vision of self care then I need to abandon my comfort zone. I know the first few episodes are likely to make me cringe, that our skill set is only just in its infancy but for me to grow I need to make this jump from words on a page to movement on a screen. At the moment I feel like I’m broken.

Broken is temporary. I’m a seed. A tiny seed with a huge vision of an oak tree. It’s my vision and the support of my partner that I know I won’t stay a seed, moments are temporary. At the moment I’m submerged in doubt and soil, getting ready to grow I know one thing to be true. I would rather of tried and failed than stayed a seed in a closed packet of potential.

Are you sitting in your comfortable packet? Perhaps it’s time to break the seal on your next goal?

*feel free to message me any tips or advice on our new adventure, your support would mean the world.

It doesn’t matter how slow you grow as long as you don’t stop

~ Fridgesays ~ 23 Comments

Quote by Confucius

This quote is in my favour as it offers hope. At four foot eleven with size two feet, growing isn’t my specialty. I often think I was sneezing or distracted when they were handing out the growing genes.

However, I also know my journey through life is about to sprout new stems. Each year I need to prune the dead wood back and watch new buds form.

This year I’ll be irrigating a few new cuttings. I plan to create new plants of opportunity for this blog, my passions and family life. We will see new places, taste new food and grow mighty and tall (metaphorically speaking).

Upon reflection I guess new year is also a time to look back at things you can improve on, things that didn’t go to plan and learn from the errors of the previous year. Don’t drag dead wood into new seasons with you.

Mostly, when I garden (much like life) I make it up. Sometimes I cut back a little too hard, things die, things emerge and grow in places I didn’t plan them to. Mother Nature has a way of guiding everything to perfection…just keep growing, however small those buds may be, you never know how amazing the flowers will be when they flourish.