Anon

Self care is the new health care

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

Apparently in parts of Asia, you pay your doctor until you get sick. When you are ill it’s considered they aren’t doing their job well and you stop paying until you’re better…that makes sense to me. It’s the doctors financial incentive to keep you healthy.

Most of us know why we aren’t healthy. Whether we stayed up too late and lack sleep, our diet is out of balance and the local take away service knows your first name…or perhaps the only exercise your body has seen was in Year 9 at secondary school.

That said, looking after your health in the circumstances that you are in, with the time and finances and time you have is a wonderful start.

Self care for me, is a little deeper. Making time to prioritise myself, listening to what I need at any given moment and leaning in, rather than ‘I’ll do that tomorrow’. The balance of self when done correctly isn’t selfish, it actually means those around you, those closest to you, thrive from you being a better version of yourself. Last night I was exhausted…I went to bed at 6:30pm. I woke at around 5am, with nearly 11 hours of sleep under my belt, I was like an upgraded me! Even if it did mean my family went to bed after me.

The other crazy thing about self care is it often has little cost attached to it, of course a spa day at an exclusive resorts can be fabulous, but taking time to look after your skin, to paint your nails, wearing clothes that fit you well and make you feel awesome can serve you on a daily basis.

My favourite self care tip is talking kindly to yourself. Totally free and easy to begin right now – no excuses, except in reality many of us struggle with ‘thinking’ kindly about our own looks, actions and dreams. We allow our negative bias to stop the power of what we could do and often want to do. Within seconds we feed our minds negative thoughts and halt any potential progress or growth mindset before we’ve even realised it. To alter this you need ninja responses – when you think a negative thought, you instantly need to say ‘I see you naughty negative, and I raise you three positives’ then drown the single negative thought (my bum looks big) with three positives (the dress looks lovely on me, my eyes are sparkly, my eye brows are on point) or you can reframe the initial thought ‘ my bum looks big in this dress and it makes the outfit pop, I look wonderful and curvy’….

Self care begins with the simple step of allowing yourself to be happy. Next to allow happy thoughts, happy dreams and the self belief that you can achieve them. Despite evaluating self care in 3 lines – it takes most people a life time to do, sadly most don’t even try.

I double dare you this week to show yourself DAILY self care – book something to look forward to, create five minutes each day to do something you enjoy ‘just because ’ and if you are feeling truly rebellious, stop the negative ninja moments and watch your life and those around you become totally awesome in under a week. *side note: if you miss a negative ninja moment, allow it. Don’t fuel yourself with more ‘ I can’t even do that right’ negative fuel.

Have a wonderful week and make time for you…off to do a midweek face mask my lovely friend gave me.

You will forever be my always

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

Love. It’s complex…or is it really simple? I’m drawn to the latter, that’s it’s all the other aspects of life that make life complicated but actually, love is simple. Held by baby – BAM felt a rocket of love…simple, being pregnant – nightmare. Met the Mr and got knocked sideways with Cupid’s arrow…wasn’t looking for it, wasn’t the right time. Cupid said ‘sorry, that’s not how we play this game’…twelve or so years later it’s working out well.

At the moment in the UK we are being teased with glimpses of prepandemic life. Family and friends can gather in your garden and it was in one of these gatherings that I realised some of the things I’ve missed in the last year or so, mainly loved ones. Time with people I care for, to laugh, to cry and to keep a chiminea going (Frankly the UK isn’t warm enough in April to sit and relax)

If there is someone you loved and no longer are in touch with, perhaps that sits well with you. Perhaps you outgrew each other, time doesn’t always heal or maybe you think about them because they will forever be your always. If that’s the case and I realise I’m over simplifying the complexities of human life BUT there are very little things in life more important that love.

What’s really important to you? Who’s really important to you? My advice; spend more time with those people, build more memories and never settle for people who aren’t your people, who don’t help you to be and become the best version of yourself. Wealth isn’t found in the car you drive, the career you create or the positive digits that show up on your bank statement, love in its simplest form is the richest currency. Love forgives, love heals, love knows no boundaries and ultimately they are forever your always. Count your blessings in the people you love and not the change in your pocket, you may already be a millionaire.

Forever and always, Lucy x

Don’t look where you fell but where you slipped

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Quote Anon

The wise words of ‘Anon’ strike again. I actually did fall today. I was putting something on a high shelf, with my Mrs independent head on…slipped, fell and then altered to my damsels in distress vibe across the kitchen floor. A giant and far too big plaster later and I was good to go. *Why do you never have the right size plaster for the job at hand, even though plasters come in a box of various sizes?

Alas, I don’t want to look at the literal interpretation inspired by this quote but as we step into spring (in the UK the clocks sprung forward last night) I realised we are a quarter of the way through the year. Last night whilst journaling (and watching Greys anatomy) I reflected on my personal goals.

January was successful in motivating my New Years resolutions and now those goals have become habitual or achieved. For me, in this moment where I’m ‘slipping’ is an evaluation of where I’m going, what I want to achieve and how I’m going to get there..I guess this post is a NY resolution part 2.

For me, yoga had become repetitive and I needed to move my journey along. Currently the pandemic means I can’t go to live, in person, classes for inspiration – instead I’ve set myself 2 advanced poses to concur. Already it’s meant my mat has been out more frequently as my interest is peeking.

Next, the Mr treated me to a waffle maker. This meant that the variants of the waffle experience are now up for mastering. For example, today’s recipe was really enjoyable but I completely misjudged how much batter to put in the waffle machine…moments later my kitchen counter looked like an active volcano, although it smelt amazing! I’m also going to explore healthy toppings and the perfect batter amount. *I may need to buy a ladle?

Career wise I have a plan, house wise the list is endless…but taking the time to prioritise the next steps and what’s important will hopefully help me avoid ‘slipping’ into a stagnant pond of helplessness. The full moon tonight provides an added incentive to pause, reflect and avoid the slippages of life.

Where are you falling down? What have you become complacent in? Are you getting the best out of 2020? More importantly if you have any waffle recipes or topping ideas – send them my way in the comment section.

With thanks x

You become what you believe

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Quote Anon

Focus is something I often lack. My attention span is small and my ability to day dream is huge. However, I’ve found that if I can dream it, it can happen.

Over the last year I’ve had a little more time to listen, both to my internal voice and of those around me. When you truly listen, its hilarious how often people sabotage their own ideas in an opening sentence…”I’ve got to lose some weight, but…” or “I’d love to try that but…” and in that cheeky word ‘but’ the vision dies and all that’s left are empty promises and a human who doesn’t think they are worthy.

There are so many people who perhaps don’t deserve what they have BUT dared to dream and believed they were worthy of it and so it happened. Self belief is a recipe for joy and achievement, doubt kills any ideas in seconds.

The other issue is that you truly have to believe the words that fall from your mouth, again if you don’t think you are worthy your brain will add doubt like a poison before you have even begun.

Lately, I’ve been journaling and manifesting through writing down the life I want to create. You see, if you can add feeling to words and belief in your mind – the universe can’t tell the difference between fantasy and life, it therefore gives you what you put out and voila, dreams come true.

We are often, if not always are our own worst enemy’s – nothing can happen without ourselves allowing it. If someone is rude to us and we let them continue to speak, if we don’t correct the behaviour or walk away, we become part of the issue. Our pasts are gone, yet we hold on to so many negative memories that often end up causing us dis-ease, the burden on the body becomes too much.

What if, instead or worrying about the future, just for one day we put down our pasts and created the life we wanted, just for a day? Would we be too scared of the change? Are we holding on the past shadows of ourselves, are our wardrobes stuffed with clothes we do not need and that indeed fitted another body along time ago? Do we have relationships around us that don’t serve us, but we feel obliged to nod and smile and stick around.

Have you even thought consciously about what you do want? This week I invite you to be brave, to dare to dream. To take one action towards a dream and to let go of one thought that doesn’t serve you. My guess is that most of you won’t be brave enough, that just like I do, you’ll get distracted and lose focus…lost in the whirl wind of thoughts. For this reason I also urge you to grab a pen and see where your thoughts take you. Keep it only positive and use every adjective and feeling you can to help the written word come to life. Who knows, perhaps next week I’ll be writing from a new location thanks to dreaming big.

The way we see the problem is the problem

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Quote by Stephen Covey (I think?)

I often write about perspective and it would seem this post is going to be no different, I just couldn’t resist this quote.

Frequently things or issues that we see as a problem are somebody else’s joy. Take a humble weed that we dig out from our boarders and see as unnecessary, an issue and not welcome. In somebody else’s garden, or in the wild that same plant can bring joy or even nutrition or a home to a bug or creature.

Sometimes problems can’t be fixed. That’s okay though as they aren’t all meant to be. Within nature when a tree dies it rots back down and fertilises the soil, the seeds/nuts that it’s dropped in the previous season are nurtured and nature begins a new cycle. As humans we often see death as final, when perhaps it’s just another step in evolution. The teaser is that none of us will know for sure until it’s too late.

Meanwhile hours turn to day’s, days to weeks, months and years and perhaps we spend too much time worrying about problems that don’t need resolving or resolve themselves…instead I’m offering you a new option.

It involves not worrying (easier said than done). Taking a step back and reassessing the situation. It involves not feeding your mind negative limitations and trusting that things always work out. This theory isn’t my making, it’s from my biggest idol…Mother Nature.

She never gives up, she’s huge in the reuse and recycle generation and she doesn’t panic in the eye of a storm. She knows that sometimes you need to clear away the past to create the future. Mother Nature hides medical healing powers in plants and never needs technology to fix something, she doesn’t even have home insurance or a debit card.

I believe that we could all improve our lives and our stress levels, simply by thinking about what Mother Nature would do. It’s often purer and easier than man would have us think and the she usually has the answer to most of our biggest problems. Also, Mother N never does things in a hurry, her cycles often take years, seasons and time to put into action.

Step back, assess and think about your options before you allow your internal panic button to be pressed, it’s sometimes good to share problems with friends for alternative solutions and a good nights sleep is wonderful for putting some distance between the issue you are trying to resolve and yourself.

Don’t make it more complicated that it needs to be

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Quote Anon

Regularly readers may have noticed that I haven’t posted for a while…the juggle of life got too much and so a few things had to go, publishing a post was one of them. That said I also use writing as time out and a dose of therapy so here I am again.

The shuffle and balance of homeschooling, working full time from home, running a household and our families personalities all blending in a bowl of chaos meant I broke. Last Friday I got to the end of my working day, I felt I couldn’t breath…I knew I had to start dinner. As I clutched a yellow pepper from the fridge, the Mr heard me whisper ‘ I can’t do this’…my eyes began to fill with tears and he said the magic words ‘Shall I get take out’ however his next question nearly made the tears fall ‘what would you like?’ I held my head down and gently shook it, “you can’t make any more decisions can you” …he was right, my head was pounding from looking at the screen all day, I felt like I was going to be sick, homeschooling that day wasn’t plain sailing and my body said enough. By 6:50pm I was in bed, I closed the world off and when I woke I realised a few things, the main one being, apart from the take away I hadn’t eaten that day. There simply wasn’t time.

With a wonderful nights sleep and my batteries renewed I made a few decisions and they’ve totally changed the week I’ve just had. I’m sharing them as hopefully they may help or inspire someone else.

Small win one: The weekend after the mini breakdown I prep’d like a fitness freak. I made homemade soup – so the decision of lunch was already made and as a bonus it was healthy. I also made a batch of smoothies so that I had a morning snack and if I didn’t have time I could drink it during my meetings.

Small win two: I got out my clothes in the evening the night before. Not a huge time saver but meant it was one less decision to procrastinate over

Small win three: at the end of each day I made myself (rain or shine) go for a walk. Sometimes I’d call family or a friend BUT I left the boys at home. A quick walk around the block and some fresh air has been fabulous for my soul after a day of meetings via a laptop.

Small win four: I realise we can’t make any actual plans at the moment, in the UK Boris letting us know when children can return to school has been as clear as mud, but I can dream. I’ve been keeping a little note pad of all the things I’d like to do when we can, travel is a huge one but once I started the list I realised some could begin even in a pandemic. So, this weekend I did some decluttering and I alway find this is good for my soul.

Small win five: Flowers. On Friday a friend left me a small bouquet on my doorstep. I can’t tell you how grateful I was. I divided the flowers into two and have one on the dinning room table where I work and one upstairs. It’s a wonderful reminder of kindness and beauty. Gratitude always wins in my book. I plan to buy some daffodils in the coming week and pass the love on! We may not be able to meet for tea and a chat like we once did but every time I look at my flowers I feel truly blessed.

Whether you’re winning at life or drowning please know that a few little steps can make a huge change to your wellbeing. Don’t stop dreaming, being kind to others and make time for self care, in my opinion these things are crucial to our current generation thriving.

Much love

Be kind. Even on your bad days

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Quote Anon

Today’s post isn’t long and its message is simple. We all have battles that we face, both internal personal battles and external battles that we may find ourselves in through no fault of our own…so do other people.

It’s easy to be consumed by the now and even the toxicity of the past, it’s much harder to smile on days when you don’t feel like smiling and even harder to push that smile into the world towards strangers.

However, in my experience it’s the light in the darkest of moments, the kindness that comes from people that don’t need to care that is truly special.

As the Christmas season approaches and we all become consumed by…well, consumerism, perhaps in this crazy world of 2020 that we all find ourselves in, the best gift we can give ourselves and those around us is a little extra kindness. It often doesn’t cost a lot and it doesn’t always get noticed but I truly believe the future of the world depends on it (that totally sounded like a marvel film intro)

As the last few weeks of 2020 past and we step into 2021 with a little more hope and a dollop of joy, please add a gallon of kindness to those who need it. You can never be sure who needs it, so aim for everyone. Let the car out of the side road if it’s safe to do so, let the man in a rush pass you by and don’t judge him – you don’t know why he is rushing. Kindness is checking on friends with a quick phone call and knocking on vulnerable neighbours doors to check if they need anything. Open doors and smile.

Smile when people give you eye contact, increase your manners (it’s something adults generally suck at), tell people you love them and give compliments like you’re PollyAnna. Over the years I’ve written a lot about this topic, gratitude and kindness truly matter and usually I write to remind myself.

So if nobody has told you today, your hair looks fab, I love that jumper and I’d like to thank you for dropping by, it’s means the world.

Humble with a hint of Kanye

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This week we said hello (and then goodbye) to Friday 13th in 2020. The meme game was high and it made reflect on the year a little, was 2020 really that horrendous? For me personally we have said goodbye to loved ones (not pandemic related), we’ve been affected by the lockdown restrictions and I updated my passport unnecessarily but we’ve also had so many awesome moments. The UK had a summer that seemed to last forever and it was joyful sunny! We used our garden and lockdown gave us family time that I couldn’t have imagined possible. I stepped over fear and went for an interview on zoom (so 2020) got the job, that led to a huge lifestyle change and well…there were a lot of good moments weaved in between.

In the last few weeks of 2020 make sure you’re your own hype man, don’t get caught in only reflecting on this year in a negative manner. All years, months and days have contrast of both good and bad moments, in fact I’ve learnt from experience that sometimes laughter in the darker moments is all the more precious. Some years are a little sweeter and now as it turns out, some have memories of banging on pans with wooden spoons and not seeing extended family as much as we would have liked.

But we’re still here, unless you’re reading this from beyond the grave, which would be pretty cool. We are still here and we still have time to create more awesome memories and remember this year with some Kanye flair – he ran for president, which lets me honest is both bold and so Kanye. Imagine if the world had as much self esteem as Mr West, although as the quote suggests a little humbleness often goes a long way too and it’s a delicate balance. Here are a few quotes from the man himself.

“For me to say I wasn’t a genius would just be me lying to myself and you”

“Everything I am made me everything i am” nope I don’t understand this either?

“I feel I’m too busy writing history to read it”

Then every now and then he says something that makes me cherish 2020 a little more…

“The only luxury we have is time. The time you get to spend with your family” count your blessings as much as you count your hardships and when the New Year’s Eve bells ring you can step into 2021 with gratitude (and a dash of relief)

Beauty is in the mind and not in the mirror

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Quote from me! @fridgesays

I feel like every bathroom facility across the globe that has basins with mirrors above should have this around it. As I typed the quote out I internally thought, I know that but I’m not sure I always implement it.

For this reason, today’s post is a reminder that you are unique. You are beautiful. You have features that are superior to others and flaws that make you an individual. When we look at images from silicone valley or we forget that people in the media’s eye often use more filters that Lego have made plastic blocks, be kind to yourself and how you talk to yourself.

Sometimes I feel good in certain outfits at other times they feel like they don’t reflect how I feel and can have the opposite effect.

I can purchase beauty products, buy new clothes, exercise, sleep, eat well and at the end of the day look in the mirror and feel mortified by what I see reflected back. When you catch yourself giving yourself a hard time, you need to become your own fairy god mother – we all should go to the ball. If a girl with pumpkins and rats can do it, I’m sure we all can. I’m a woman with a goldfish, a gecko, a dog, two African snails and a tank of stick insects.

Here’s my godmother recipe:

First, stare in the mirror and laugh at how privileged you are to have a mirror.

Next, step back slightly and decide whether the lighting is doing you any favours or is it more like a light box game from the 1980’s, remember not all light is flattering.

Step three: Like a good friend, reason with yourself. How’s the day gone? Does the frizzy hair represent the rainy school run, are the bags under your eyes due to night feeds and are the spots hormonal? if so..remind yourself that you succeeded to collect your child from school, feed your child and that hormones are a sign of health.

Challenge time, rather than focus on the spots, frizzy hair and bags under the eyes. Look in the mirror and pick THREE features you love. Perhaps it’s your laughter lines that remind you of good times, or your lips, maybe you like your hair up, down or are just glad you found time to wash it.

Lastly, look at your features and think about your loved ones. Do you have the same eyes as your Dad, the curve of your nose is the same as your daughters, how blessed we are to have reminders so near to us…unless your family are douche bags in which case casually miss this step.

Lastly and totally nonnegotiable…create time for some self care. A hot bath child free, a hair wrap or time to do your nails…because like this post stated at the beginning, your beautifully perfect just the way you are and deserve to be treated so.

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice

~ Fridgesays ~ 2 Comments

Quote Anon

Before I’m certified crazy and confess all my sins, this quote inspired two thoughts that I’d like to share.

Be cautious of how you talk to yourself: That could be out loud or could be your internal voice. The universe, God, Allah – whatever you refer to it as, doesn’t know the difference between you setting intentions and meaning it, putting yourself down or being sarcastic. It often means we align with negative emotions that we don’t want to keep repeating. I’ve often said in posts that the best advice is to talk to yourself like you wouldn’t your best friend. You wouldn’t watch her/him in the mirror and call out all of their flaws, if you did you could at the very least expect the friendship to end. Instead highlight the good, thank people when they give you compliments rather than feel the need to justify how much you paid for the outfit, look in the mirror and although instinct may lead you to a negative – take a breath and then name two things you like about yourself. The great think about our brain is it’s constantly regenerating new neurone pathways, so make sure those pathways are positive and lead you towards a life you love.

Don’t doubt your own expertise: Again, I often feel this comes down to confidence but so often we don’t own the room. We don’t say ‘we’ve got this’ or we hesitate and minimalise our contribution. We all have unique skills and some we are insanely awesome at – own it. The truth is you’ve probably worked extremely hard to develop that skill set over a number of years, it’s usually a passion that brings us joy. As a teacher I know the best thing I can do with my knowledge is to share it. There are also things we are ‘okay’ at, however often you may be the expert in the room with your ‘okay’ level hat on. Own it. The world would be a much more joyful place if we were keen to shine our love, share our passion and enjoy watching other people’s shadows light up under our light.

Before you head in to the world write down three things you are an expert in. It might be be geology, quantum physics or coding…it might also be cooking eggs (this is one of mine), peeling a satsuma in one go or brick laying – the skills are all neutrally awesome. If you need a wall built, someone who’s skill is ballet isn’t going to cut it. Armed with your own expertise, go out of your way to share it this week and if your skill is making the perfect cup of tea, swing by my house at some point because sharing is caring