Original Fridgesays quote.

As I was putting this blog together, I was thinking about quotes such as ‘fill your cup’ and empowering quotes about authenticity. Then I made a cup of tea and unlocked the joy of the universe. Simplicity

It started a few weeks ago when I made a cuppa and added half a teaspoon of honey – it tasted like joy and gave me the energetic lift we all sometimes need late afternoon. It’s not necessary the done thing and usually I don’t have any sugar in my tea but I’ve found every now and then it elevates my tea to a new height.

In fact today we had a slow Sunday with no plans. The Mr and I left the boy at home cleaning his room (listening to an eclectic collection of music) and did a food shop – after that I was free of any plans and ‘pottered’ around the house and realised that the simplicity of my joy. I repotted one of my favourite house plants and walked the dog, then I came home made a cuppa and read my book. I then interacted with our menagerie of reptiles, baked and if you haven’t fallen asleep yet, here comes the learning part…I loved my day. Nothing complicated, nothing expensive (if you forget the food shop) and I felt rejuvenated.

Sometimes activities that fill us with joy don’t involve other people or going too far from home. I also realised that all of the things I enjoyed (except for the tea) involved caring. However, there was no demand and the care was given in my own time frame because I enjoyed it rather than because I felt obliged or was on someone else’s time frame. Having people or creatures demand is exhausting…my examples include ‘what’s for dinner?’ and ‘Can a friend come around?’

Make a list of the activities you enjoy. You may realise they are simple and accessible, If so, carve out time in your week to do them more often. I always feel better when I’ve walked the dog and been out in nature, even if the weather wasn’t ideal. If you are writing a list and it includes ‘cruises, golf, sailing, sky diving’ I hope you find the budget so that you can access them regularly. We all need to fill our cup, some people like to drink out of rude mugs (my collection is inspiring) and some prefer China tea cups decorated in gold. Authenticity matters and life is too short for a cup of tea from an ugly mug.

Quote Anon

Avaiai means ‘one of a kind’.

To be one of a kind you need to listening to your intuition and not let others actions or perspectives alter your ‘kind’. You have to feel safe in your own skin and lean in to your own calling, despite society being loud and demanding. You have to comfortable in your actions and authentic in every aspect of your life. This of course is a journey and not a destination but the reward is that every now and then the right people notice.

I was in my local shop dropping off and picking up some parcels. The queue was longer than I would like, but I was content waiting. Behind me a little girl of about six years old was making a humongous decision…which chocolate bar to purchase. She was with her Mum who also had a parcel and they queued behind me. The little girl reached out to my hand bag and stuck her fingers in it (it’s sparkles and it’s a textured fabric – it deserved to be touchedd, I didn’t judge her) and said to her Mum that she liked it. I thanked her and told her a little about it. My handbag is a pink Pearlised set of lips, as life’s too short for black/tan/navy practical bags with useful pockets and effective storage solutions. She then looked up and I complemented her chocolate choice, she replied saying she also loved my jacket. This is a recent purchase and is a light fleece that’s lilac and yellow with large smiley faces all over it. Again, I thanked her, acknowledging her compliment.

It was my turn to be served and whilst that happened I explained that I was a foundation Governor at her school, this was mainly a subconscious message to her Mum to let her know I was a safe adult. The parcel I was collecting was a denim pinafore dress with a pink leopard print design, whilst the little girls Mum was organising her parcels I showed my new purchase to her and we agreed on the importance of pockets and that dungaree straps often bought joy.

I then left and felt fully seen.

At six years old I adored denim dresses, pinafores, cardigans, smiley faces, sparkle, glitter and an impractical bag full of nothing usefulness but fun. Despite nearly forty years passing not much has changed. I still like all of those things and dress for me. Of course, there is a time and place for a smiley face jacket and a little black dress still fits some situations, but I’m most authentically me when children complement me.

You don’t have to reinvent yourself as someone else to be ‘one of a kind’ I’m not even sure it’s always a compliment? I am sure, that I’m the best version of me and the happiest version of me when I dress how I want and spend my time doing things that I enjoy. Don’t worry what others are doing, what they’re achieving or how they are climbing various ladders of life. Make sure you have your ladder in front of you. You can then climb the stairs at your own pace and if you ever want to rest, you can. The best kind of ‘one of a kind’ is when you are authentic to yourself. By doing this you attract similar souls towards you and align with your greatest desires. Plus, everyone loves a special edition.

Quote by Maya Angelo

This week I visited one of my favourite humans, my Grandads sister who is also my Godmother. she recently fell in her kitchen at home and broke her hip. She is currently restoring her body and soul in hospital. She is ninety four years young and according to her healing in hospital is boring and she’d much rather be at home getting on with things. What a legend.

Above her bed is a sign and my son read it out loud. It said that a light was to be kept on all night ‘as the patient is a little scared of the dark’… she has lived in the same home for over forty years and lives in the corner plot of a cul-de-sac, at the end of her driveway is a streetlight, thus for the last forty years and more she has never truly slept in the dark.

She explained to my son that it was a shock for her and that the first night in hospital was very scary, she didn’t know why until a nurse came to administer some medication and put a light on, but that a privilege of growing older is that just as you think you know everything about yourself, you learn something new and that new fears can occur when you least except them to.

As we left the hospital my son and I shared memories of how incredible she is and how lucky we are to learn from her. The wonderful thing about her is that she probably has no idea how much she means to us, nor how much she has taught and continues to teach us. Perhaps today someone shared something with you, made you feel seen or heard or maybe you interacted with someone and your words touched them. I think having a legacy is often overrated and often over thought when most days we all impact each other without often realising it, I like to think this is our invisible legacy that day by day we add to like a patchwork quilt. Make sure the stitching you give to others enhances them for the better.

Quote by Mark Black

Social media and doom scrolling often get negative comments, in this post I’m going to share why is just made for a wonderful midweek evening activity.

I work full time, I’m a parent and our social calendar is often full with observing our child at various sporting events. Around this schedule we cram in theatre, culture, friends, family and somewhere in the mix I add in all the delights that come with running a house and a dash of yoga for my sanity. I’m a huge reader and I also like to paint for fun.

Our current family lifestyle leaves little flexibility and so in the cracks I make sure I use my week well so that I can relax at the weekend should the opportunity arise (it’s so sad when the pitch is waterlogged).

This evening my son had evening training, so it was an early dinner and then his Dad took him to the training. This left me with a two hour window. After putting on some laundry I sat on the sofa with a cup of tea and scrolled social media…I learnt nothing. Instead I watched toddlers toddle, dogs do cute things, I laughed at people falling over, I smiled at cute quotes and sent funny memes to people who I thought would resonate with the content. I achieved nothing and at the same time as I scrolled it felt good and once I’d finished, I felt good.

Sometimes we need a little ‘junk’ activity in our lives to release us from our routine’s. We are not working ants or bees designed with once deeply ingrained habit/job to pursue. We are diverse beings that require so many things that often require balance…we need to socialise but need our down time, we need sleep but also to exercise, to feel productive, wanted and motivated…and sometimes we need to doom scroll with no learning intention or specific reason. Why? Balance.

Many of the blogs I have written often are about balance as it’s integral to our wellbeing, often when we are unbalanced we are depleted in an aspect of our lives whether that be work or play and that often leads to health issues. I’m not suggesting that we scroll on our phones for hours on a daily basis, but I am suggesting that once in a while it can be productive to be unproductive. However, you only reap the benefits if you are kind with the thoughts that follow. Don’t diet if you feel guilty every time you look lovingly in the patisserie window, or sulk when you didn’t go for the walk you said you was going to but then it rained.

This evening as I caught myself scrolling mindlessly and realised I was enjoying myself, I also gave myself permission to do so. I shall make sure this doesn’t become a habit and instead enjoy it the next time I need a little light release in my often busy day. When was the last time you ate something you don’t usually allow yourself? Watched a tv series that you enjoy or picked up a magazine full on uneducated speculation and ‘ten top tips’ that nobody ever needed? Everybody needs a little sugar in their tea from time to time.