Month: September 2024

I decide my vibe

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

Today I am sat on the sofa and I’m doing less than nothing. The dog is snuggled up on me and it would be disrespectful to move and disrupt her. I’m not watching TV, I’m not reading and I’m sitting in silence. Today ‘not a lot’ is my vibe.

It would be natural of me to compensate now by telling you about my hectic morning or my plans for tomorrow or even how exhausting yesterday was… but that would defeat today’s post.

Everyday we get to decide our vibe and to a large extent who we surround ourselves by. We get to be choose what we wear (give or take a work uniform) and how much energy we put into things.

Last week my son came off the Rugby pitch frustrated by how he had played, when he went on today I reminded him that the past version of him was disappointed and that the present him would decide how future him would feel. He came off at the end of the game (the team won) and said past him would be pleased. He couldn’t control the other players, the weather (it rained), but he could set the vibe for himself.

I treat my wardrobe as a costume box and dopamine dress for how I need or want to feel. Sometimes that includes bright prints and textured fabrics and sometimes it’s a black one piece that allows me to disappear. I set the vibe and use clothes to help me, currently opting for comfy clothes to do very little in.

We don’t realise it but we set the vibe, not just by clothes or attitudes but also with the foods we digest and the people we allow ourselves to be close to, in fact I believe that every choice we make takes or gives to the person we are, thus our worlds could ever be changing, or we continue to pick the same things to wear, eat and do and life is stagnant. The great thing is none of us are one dimensional beings, we can change and our vibes can alter. Later today I may be productive, later I may move from the sofa and create a list to help me start the week focused and tuned in to achieving my best…for now, I’m staying here. The vibe is quiet, still and needed. Without reflection life can run away with us and somehow in a busy world there is something seriously luxurious about doing nothing.

You are accountable for your decisions, choices and actions…or in my case, lack of action…set the vibe and enjoy what it has to offer, if it doesn’t please you then change the vibe.

Don’t let anyone dull your light

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

Often when writing I know the theme and then find a quote, or I find a quote and the writing follows. Tonight, the process has been reversed as I’d like to share a lesson that just happened. I then thought that this quote would work well and assumed that I’d used it before, it doesn’t seem to have been? Although I know there are variants of it such as ‘don’t let anyone dim your sparkle’ so forgive me if it seems repetitive.

The lesson: September has burst through the year with a buddy at hand called Autumn, usually when the children return back to school the temperature in the UK increases and we are treated to an Indian summer, this year September has brought rain, thunder storms and whilst the sun shone today, the cold followed, it was around eleven Celsius and whilst not coat wearing worthy the sudden ten Celsius drop can be felt with an autumnal kiss in the air.

As a result, I have peaked early with soup making and all things cosy. Tonight I lit a candle and snuggled in bed with a new book. It was a tapered candle and I haven’t lit it for a while. As I sat on my bed the candle was struggling to breathe and so I gently tipped it slightly to release some of the melted wax, this worked for a little while but soon I was looking at a tiny blue glow, barely a flame. As I watched it struggle decided whether it would rescue itself or need me to ‘tip and release’ a metaphor of life came into mind.

Often, as adults we know what we need and often it’s a basic need that is usually achievable – less sugar, a glass of water, more movement and exercise, better quality sleep, taking time for self care or perhaps just a shower. There are certainly days when I know I’d feel a thousand percent better if I just had a shower and yet like myself starring at the struggling blue glow of the candle. We don’t do it? I tell myself I’ll wake up earlier and make time to hair wash and style, I then don’t and wake panicked with a ridiculous list of things to be achieved by 7:30am and the shower becomes a task moved to later in the day, I then have to do something with the now greasy hair and leave the house flustered and feeling like the 1970s John Travolta look isn’t in my self esteems best interest.

If it was just a shower, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad but there are certainly days and sometimes longer periods of time when just like the struggling candle we find ourselves out of balance, dehydrated, perhaps not even making time to eat and if we do we’ve not grabbed anything of any nutritious contents, we struggling to breathe and let we know what we need…here comes the crazy part, if it were a friend or loved one we would absolutely make them prioritise the shower, we’d create them something to eat, we’d encourage an early night but most of all, we’d tip the candle for a little longer and let it breathe. So I did. The flame grew and suddenly from a struggling glow came a large and substantial flame. The candle was living its best life, I was experiencing the candle living its best life. The world became fuller somehow and I couldn’t stop smiling. I’d known all along what it needed, I just watched it struggle, hoping it might ‘sort itself out’ which is ridiculous.

As you step into a new week, listen to your internal voice. Allow yourself the love and support and give yourself what you need. Whilst not always possible, often a step towards your need is a leap for ‘candle-kind’, don’t be a drowning candle, light up the world for yourself and those around you.

Sleep is an investment not an expense

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Classical music has many super powers. It fires up our neurone pathways and can increase memory, reduce stress and in 2020 The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra did a study that concluded that classical vibes increased our overall wellbeing. The list of benefits goes on and the research is plentiful.

Many parents have played classical music to their infants as a way of helping them to soothe and sleep and research suggests it makes babies smarter. Mozart is the most popular and can be heard on many baby products for this reason and is due to its frequency’s and pitch. The playlists for Mozarts sleep inducing sounds are endless on platforms such as Spotify. However, today I wanted to share newer research around helping children and adults on the Autistic spectrum to get to sleep.

A neurotypical brain will generally slow down before sleeping, with periods of silence before slumber, calming music, scents and ambience all helping to soothe our senses and prepare for sleep. However, neurodivergent brains never slow down and are rarely silent making sleep a common issue for parents of autistic children.

This is because the silence and the calming background makes the autistic persons brain ‘even louder’, it’s common for parents to report that their neurological babies often slept best at loud family gatherings or crowded scenarios than in the calm and relaxed environment of their bedroom, whilst white noise can sometimes help, the ever active autistic brain is always active and loud.

Lack of sleep or poor sleep hygiene will often lead to antisocial behaviour and a quick temperament, as the brain has not fulfilled its need for good quality REM sleep.

The solution it seems for autism sleepers is a variation of tempo and frequency. Rachmanioff is a great choice – he’s sound whilst still within the classic genre are much ‘busier’ and give the brain so many aspects to listen to that autistic sleeper is stimulated and can then turn off their internal dialogue which allows them to fall to sleep far quicker and with little effort.

If you live with an Autistic teen and perhaps classic music isn’t their ‘vibe’ then some dubstep music can have similar results in helping them to transcend to a good nights sleep quickly and with little fuss. Sleep hygiene is important for all our wellbeing’s, both mentally, physical and so we can emotionally regulate. For once, I hope this post sends you to sleep and please feel free to share the article if you think someone in your universe may benefit from trying some of the ideas.