Month: August 2024

If you find yourself in the wrong story…leave

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Mo Willems

Most of us are so caught up in the everyday charades of routine and the running machine of life, that we forget that we can simply step off of the treadmill and take up a new activity.

Some of us bought into a blue print sold to us by our parents of marriage, children, house purchasing and careers that we simply referred to the guidance and advice and followed the manual. Others rebelled, disappearing with a back pack and sturdy boots for company and returning years later with tattoos, tales and a smile.

Sometimes it’s easy to see the big life moments that we either don’t wish to be part of anymore like climbing corporate ladders and marriages that have evolved into strangers, but like joy is often found in the small moments, sometimes we need to edit the smaller parts of our life.

Today I went to the dump (you can call it a recycling centre if it makes you happier) as we had some old curtains that needed to be put to rest. They had been in a pile that had been moved around the house for several weeks and I decided that I would put my best adult face on and take them to their resting place. This blog is dedicated to why that was a huge mistake.

As an independent woman I popped the curtains (heavier than you’d think) in the boot of my car and made my way to the dump.

Arriving with a small wait and queue (it’s England after all) I drove into the car space and started to exit the vehicle. A man in high viz ran over to me and said ‘you need to reverse in’ I paused and explained that I was putting some items in the fabric area on the other side of the dump and thus my boot was facing that direction. He paused and explained I couldn’t do that, that it was the rules and I had to reverse in. I politely asked why and he simply replied ‘it’s just the rules’

I reversed my car as asked, got out and took some of the curtains from my boot. As I walked over to the material area, I saw another sign that explained all material needed to be in a plastic liner before going in…my seven foot curtains were never going to fit in a bin liner? I looked over to Mr high viz…we then exchanged a glance that said ‘I know I’m breaking the plastic bag rule, let’s keep this between ourselves’ the mutual glance confirmed I could continue. Completing the ‘final curtain’ I got back in my vehicle, Mr High Viz could breathe, I could breathe. It was that moment that I reflected on why I never came here

  1. I don’t like rules that make no sense
  2. The Mr adores the dump and it gives him ‘satisfaction’
  3. I don’t like how everyone acts like ants with their heads down and nobody smiles
  4. The Mr loves that nobody interacts

I came home and proudly announced that I’d ’dropped the curtains off to the dump’ to the Mr. As I waited for my praise and potential award he said ‘did you reverse in?’

How did he know? I explained that actually I hadn’t and that I’d asked Mr High Viz why this was, the Mr then gave me a long lecture (with no actual explanation) on dump etiquette, that he was going to take them tomorrow and that as the conversation continued it became apparent that I wasn’t going to receive an award or even a thanks for my efforts. It was at this moment that I made a pledge to never return to the dump again. It was not fun, I didn’t feel satisfaction and I’m a natural rule breaker – we weren’t compatible. From now on, all dump adventures would be betrothed to him.

At this point, you may be a feminist who says ‘females can’ to this I simply reply ‘I did and you can, but I didn’t like it. You may also be a satisfied dump legend like the Mr, in which case I believe I should apologise for my naivety. However, what I did learn is that the dump isn’t for me and my skillset. I will never visit the place and with this edit to my story I’ll be all the more happier for it. Of course, some places like supermarkets you have to go (if you want to eat) but I believe that where this is a will there is a way, and online shopping might solve this.

Don’t go to places you don’t want to, don’t hang around with people who don’t make you smile. This precious life is yours to edit. One of my Dads best quotes to me is ‘if you don’t want to babes, nobody can make you’ and I think he’s right, another great line is ‘you can never have enough napkins’ but perhaps that’s for another post. Enjoy the week ahead and if anyone has any tips for me explaining that I also missed one curtain to the Mr, so he also had to go dump I’d be grateful.

Take note of what the light does, to everything

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote by Tess Guinery

My Christian name is Lucy. It means ‘of the light’ so it will be no surprise that I’m a huge fan of anything sparkly, glittery or shiny. I’ve always been fond of observing the stars on a clear night. I’m also partial to a string of fairy lights all year around.

That said, I was speaking with a friend about seasons today and summer isn’t my favourite. Sure, it’s the lightest but I adore a sunny cold morning, a crisp Autumn day where you can see spider webs glisten and the light bounces off of the autumnal leaves. This led me to realise that I actually prefer balance. I adore starry nights with black backgrounds, I enjoy things that sparkle the best when the light shines on dark areas – much like a disco ball hanging over a dance floor. Perhaps my middle name should be contrast? Living in the UK I am blessed to have annual experience of the four seasons and they each play a part, often we need the dark to see the light, just as we need the cold to feel the warmth.

In dark times, humour offers much needed light. Shadows can be beautiful too but often fade and need sunlight to sustain them. During the winter/holiday season you may be tricked by the light. Dazzled by sparkle and awe. Shop windows may entice you in and it’s easy to be eaten whole by consumer culture. Or you can take a step back, appreciate the glitter and lights that line most high streets, the Christmas trees lit up in windows and make time for family and friends. You can also take a day off, tell the world you are busy and snuggle under the duvet with your favourite snacks and films. This is often called self care, but I think it actually allows you to see the light. Time alone is hugely under rated, time being by yourself means you can do whatever you want – you feel lighter for it and can but down the burden of carrying others, even if just for an hour or so.

As summer draws to an end and darker evenings will begin, I am going to focus on the light particularly when it arrives in the darker moments. From light hearted moments, to eyes lit up by magic, light can be your warmest friend but too much can burn you. It’s essential that we seek balance rather than look endlessly for the joy in life. I also believe that we attract what we put our focus on, so recognising when we’re not okay but also asking what we need to feel lighter is another way we can restore balance rather than being absorbed by sadness. That said, we still have a few weeks of summer left, so bask in the sun whilst it lasts and enjoy the lighter evenings.

Be kind but with spine

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

Recently the positive power princesses of the world have polluted the planet with positivism that is so sickly it’s vile. Let my fridge be the first place to say that it’s ok to have a bad day and it’s certainly normal not to love your life every single minute…sometimes life’s horrible and you’re not entirely sure why? Sometimes you know exactly why…that’s life.

Kindness is something that I value. That I try and deliver and a quality recognise in others. HOWEVER it comes with a spine and much like this quote kindness should not be exchanged or confused for naivety or ignorance. I will pull over in my car and let a person cross the road, especially if it’s raining. I’ll give way to vehicles and let cars out when needed…I won’t stop for everyone or let all the cars in the world out of a junction that causes me to be late and a traffic jam to form behind me…my spine is central and aligned with my boundaries.

I will call friends, try to remember certain dates, keep them in mind and give effort to our relationship. I won’t keep calling if they never return the gesture.

I will share baked treats with others and I won’t expect this is return. We all have our love languages. I won’t however bake goods on demand…

Acts of kindness should be at the core of our interaction with others, central in our communities, when doing them they should enrich our lives and those that receive them, when kindness is given and received with any alternative motive it can feel like a nettle sting and that’s when you need to check your own boundary. My gut is where I keep my kindness, freely given until my gut instinct tells me otherwise. You don’t have to go anything that makes you feel taken advantage of, you don’t have to keep the communication going when others don’t do their part just because you’ve known them for so long, or they are family.

Always be kind. Always give more than you receive but make sure you have a spine. That you can still stand tall. That your kindness isn’t given at a cost to your own health or wellbeing, make sure any acts come from a place of love and not duty and most of all, start the kindness process with yourself.