Month: May 2024

When I grow up I am going to be a Mermaid.

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Direct quote from me, said many times in the last forty years.

I wasn’t sure what to write about today? Usually a theme or a quote inspires me. So I asked my son what I should write about, he said “Mermaids, your imagination and the power that it can possess” and I was like ‘Dam boy’ that’s an awesome idea!

So, cosy up and I’ll tell you all about Mermaids. When I grow up I will be a Mermaid in tropical clear waters (nobody is signing up for murky and cold North seas!) because every day will be a good hair day. I will swim around and explore the sea, collect shells (because shells are joy) and if Disneys Ariel taught me anything, I’ll probably chat with my fish friends and sing epic songs about ‘thing-amey-bobs’, I think about my Mermaid life more than an adult with a mortgage and responsibilities should. Why? Because it’s fun! And a mortgage and responsibilities often aren’t.

I think it’s why I’m also a huge reader, fiction takes you to far away places and usually the main character in a book has a different set of problems to you. Even better, unlike friends and families problems when you close the book, you don’t need to worry or try to help the main character and even better, 9/10 by the end of the book the characters issue has been resolved or they’ve made peace with it.

I wrote often about how I feel ‘play’ is important for everyone’s mental health and I think escapism and your imagination is a powerful tool that we can all use. Often society talks about negative thought patterns but doesn’t tell you about the joy of thinking about being a Mermaid.

Thoughts don’t always need to be shared. Nobody can steal them from you. They are both priceless and worth millions all at the same time. In our hum drum routines it’s easy to become caught up in our own dull drama. We also, as humans tend to live in cycles of similar patterns (eg. We don’t learn our lessons and often repeat patterns of behaviour even though they make us unhappy) we also tend to invite similar people into our lives and that isn’t always in our best interest.

In my imagination I can be free of daily distractions, I can also dream about how I want things to be. That might be thinking about how I’d like my garden to look or a car upgrade or in my case…tropical seas and Mermaid vibes.

Make some time this week for your imagination, be guided by your inner child or pick up a book and let your imagination shine as the Author becomes your tour guide. I always think my imagination is my best asset, a free gift that keeps on giving.

#11yo Collect Things

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Sadly, this series has a gap or two, last year was one such missed opportunity. That said, life happens and I’m trying to be kind to my past self that was probably juggling too many things. However, I’m pleased I’ve been able to capture the mini dudes questions this year as he is in the midst of a transitional period, exams in the UK have just finished for him, he’s about to go off on a residential trip with school and embark on secondary school life! I usually write about how my son came into the world knowing who he was, the answers to his questions are usually the same or similar. I stand by this, however he would like me to let you know he’s favourite colour is no longer Green…it’s Turquoise. One giant leap for mankind and a Pantone alteration of about 5 shades for my son. I also don’t read the previous answers back to him. Here’s this years twenty questions:

1.What’s something I might not know about you? My feelings towards people, sometimes I laugh and smile but inside I’m like ‘what a douche’

2. If you were a teacher and you had to teach your students something, what would it be? Mythology *same answer as when he was 9yrs old.

3. What’s your favourite fruit? Water Melon (fun bonus fact; all he wanted for his birthday this year was a Water Melon)

4. What do you like to watch on TV? I love Science Fiction

5. What do you like to eat at lunch? A plastic sandwich (bought from a shop) or Daddy’s egg sandwich…I just love sandwiches, sandwiches are everything

6. Who’s in your family? My Mum, Dad, Pearl (our dog) Burple (leopard Ghecko) and Nathaniel (tortoise), Nanny and Grandad times two!

7. What item of clothing do you most like to wear? A Rugby jersey

8. What game do you like to play? Lego Marvel on Xbox is amazing

9. What’s your favourite animal? Crocodile, Snapping Turtle, Honey Badger and Toad…(again, he couldn’t decide)

10. What song do you most like? Rock and Pop, anything but Taylor Swift. She’s annoying and her songs sound the same.

11. What makes you feel thankful? There are too many things to say. My life is pretty awesome!

12. Favourite book? All of them, I could never pick? *same answer as 9yrs

13. What makes a good friend? They need to be kind and also support you

14. What’s your favourite sport? Rugby

15. If you had a pet dragon what would you name it? Carnage but I’d obviously need to connect with his personality first. (Silly me for asking such a question)

16. What do you sleep with? Orco and Croccie (2 giant cuddly animals)

17. What do you like best for breakfast? Waffles made by Mummy

18. What qualities are important in a person? Kindness and aggression, it’s a balance – you want them to nice but also to have boundaries and stand up for what they believe in.

19. What do you think the world needs more of? Good people

20. What’s your favourite dinner? Pizza and macaroni cheese. (Yup, he puts the macaroni on top of the pizza) *same answers as 9yrs

Don’t stress, do your best, forget the rest

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

It’s exam time in the UK for GCSE pupils and upper KS2. In our house this means a week of SATs exams for my son and a week of invigilation for me. I’ll be driving around the county and making unwelcome visits to office staff in Primary schools (office staff don’t like you if they don’t know you’re coming) to check exam packs and secured correctly, exam spaces meet criteria and ticking off many boxes on many forms…

The advice I’ll give the schools and the advice I’ll give my son is the same.

Don’t stress: Being a little worried, anxious or excited about exams can be a good thing. It can help motivate, focus and fuel your adrenaline in a positive way. Being stressed is a step too far, it can send your body into a negative cycle leading to sickness and brain freeze, may mean you can’t think to complete your exams. Unfortunately reading ‘don’t stress’ isn’t that helpful, instead sleep, nutrient/ hydration and knowing that you’ve revised means you walk into the exam knowing all you can do is your best.

Do your best: You can’t control external factors such as the weather, or what questions will be asked, you can’t do anything about circumstances occurring in your family. You can enter the exam space and for that hour give it your best with the circumstances you walked in with. To do this you need to slow down, read the questions and pause before you write your answer. Most marks are lost because people have misread and interpreted what the question is asking due to rushing. You can only do you, leaving the space knowing you couldn’t have done better is a wonderful feeling.

Forget the rest: My advice that students often ignore, is try not to chat about the exam before or after with friends. Everyone saying it felt easy when you’ve just struggled in the exam doesn’t make you feel confident for your next exam and nor does hearing comments like ‘what about the question on the back page?’ And you’re thinking what back page??? Despite these comments amongst friends often being well meaning my advice is to avoid any exam speak. Only you need to know how you feel things went or will go. Worrying about an exam that’s finished doesn’t improve the exam results, it just makes you feel stressed. Instead, make a quick exit or pop in your earphones and listen to some music, so you can focus on you.

As someone that inspects the exam process I’d also like to remind you that the teams organising it have done this before. Its important that the exam process is conducted according to protocol otherwise the exams would loose meaning, but any issues you may have will have occurred before, so share worries or concerns in advance.

The great news is that if you are worried, it’s often because you care.

Exams are a tiny moment that can’t possible capture all of your greatness and talents, they don’t reveal values such as patience, kindness or empathy. They can often be retaken and with regard to SATS these let county council know how good the quality of teaching is and are not a reflection on the child. Most children won’t even look at their results. So don’t stress, do your best. That is always good enough.

He wasn’t hungry he was starving…

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote McGinest (Patriots)

When it comes to mindset and achieving goals, there are often phases around being ‘hungry for it’ and when I heard that McGinest described that to be a top athlete it wasn’t enough to hungry, that you had to be starving it resonated with me.

I should probably add that I am in no way any type of athlete…in fact trainers are for complimenting jeans and a range of coloured sweatshirt and there is limited sweating occurring in said sweatshirts. However, I have been blessed to witness greatness around me, to have been a small part of the journey it took for those around me to reach goals and achieve.

They aren’t my goals to share but I can share the moments that have stuck with me. One of my friends is currently planning a trip to the Artic. He can’t sail and he doesn’t have a boat but I’m not sure that’s going to stop him? He does complete ultra marathons and he did thrive a life altering injury in his twenties – so in his 50s of course he’s going to set sail! At the moment he is currently saving for the boat, the sacrifices I witness him make, the painstaking detail of how he even approaches finance is insane and relentless. He’s plan is thorough and he is often sacrificing the now to make room for the dream.

Another friend has run competitively at national standard, she’s still competing after two children and her personal bests are improving all of the time. We were in Milan on a girlie weekend in our twenties and made our way to the hotel, it was an odd time of day, late afternoon and I suggested we chilled and then strolled into town for dinner. Whilst I was ‘chilling’ she was running around Milan….on holiday, in the heat, our plane only touching down an hour or so earlier and she had no idea about the route or area we were staying in. Her goals were never off track (forgive the pun) and she’s always been driven.

Whilst I can’t say I’d want to travel too far from home in death defying circumstances and I’m certainly only interested in Olympic triumph from my sofa, I have found that the people I surround myself by have infiltrated my own life. Goals can be achieved with a little elbow grease, a plan and the will not to be distracted. Society sets us up for many skill sets but it doesn’t often teach us how to achieve our dreams. Perhaps like me your dreams aren’t as large as the ones I’ve touched on, but perhaps you do have a goal that could possible turn into a regret without action. This post isn’t about how to achieve it, it’s just a nudge to remind you that you are your priority and that a step in the right direction may help build momentum to a fulfilled life. That’s worth striving for.