Month: October 2023

BOO

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote ‘every Halloween book, cartoon ghost and small child’

This evening I was watching one of my all time favourite TV series – #greysanatomy

It was an episode in series 18 and was based around the theme of the USA holiday of Thanks Giving. On the surface the idea of being grateful and eating Turkey speaks to my soul. I caught the bug of gratitude early in life, mainly from my family who made me aware of how precious my existence was, everything that we had and the lessons we learnt along the way, I also blame my obsession with the Disney adaptation of PollyAnna.

However, I’m aware that the origins of Thanks Giving has deeper historical roots in religious and cultural traditions, it has long been celebrated as a secular holiday as well and other countries such as Japan and Germany who have similar celebrations. In the UK we are on the cusp of celebrating Halloween, again behind the cheap plastic decorations and high levels of sugar, the laughter and the joy (my son seriously loves dressing up) there are deeper meaning to be had. This weekend in the village we live in my family came to stay to share in the Bonfire celebrations – deeper meaning can be found and I understand why some may struggle with the terrorist origins and the animal and wildlife issues around fireworks.

I’m cautious it may be too early to mention the C word that’s right around the corner, where we drag perfectly health trees into our living rooms to watch them die covered in glitter, fairy lights and tinsel…the excessive food and financial strain on some families. New Year is a tradition that never got a food attached to it, but a dodgy song that nobody knows the words to and the majority that sing it are too intoxicated to care.

In case you’re thinking ‘what a depressing read to a blog that promotes itself of being positive’ then BOO! I’m about to switch things up with the classic Pollyanna effect. Everybody has the right to take from the traditions what they’d like, to delve into their origins as deeply as they wish to, to dance the night away on New Year and fully embrace the event or to pop their Pjs on and eat some of the left over chocolate from Chris…(ops! nearly typed it) and as I was watching Greys Anatomy and the over worked staff who battled with life and death with just a ten blade to hand and far too much Botox came together in the final moments of the episode to be thankful for what they had, each other…I reflected on what I took from the holidays and it came down to family every time. I love Christmas because I see and spend time with my loved ones, Bonfire night was joyful due to those I experienced it with, Halloween will be magnificent as my son proudly steps out into the dark streets in his costume with his Dad as protector / bouncer, hand in hand…what I chose to take from these celebrations are the traditions not set centuries ago, but the core memories I am making with my family, these won’t last forever, they will evolve with time but I’m ever so grateful for each and everyone I do have. If that isn’t gratitude, I’m not sure what is…although before I sign off, I’d love to share with you this tiny pumpkin my Mr F carved for me today! I couldn’t resist it in the shop and it may be the best 40p I’ve ever spent but his huge hands struggled to carve something so tiny…thank you Mr F

When you focus on the good, the good gets better

~ Fridgesays ~ 1 Comment

Quote Anon

The weeks are flying by, and the temperatures in the UK are cooling down, winter is around the corner and whilst images of pumpkin lattes and Christmas trees makes me feel warm and fuzzy, often the winter months can be some of the most mentally challenging. We tend to hibernate a little more, the weather is often grey and cold, we can become lethargic and not as productive, as a result this can leave our mental health in poor condition.

What can we do? We can focus on what we do have, this is a skill that I’m alway in pursuit of / attempting to maintain. I know it works and have had many successes from it but I also know that when you are feeling low it can be hard to focus at all, let alone alter your mindset to a positive perspective. I really enjoy thinking about the things I’m grateful for, this helps me reflect on what I have achieved, what I do have and not on the endless ‘to do list’ or concerns of looming bills and costly house projects that quickly become essential when you ignore them for long enough.

If listing your gratitudes seems out of reach then I’d like to share a writing practise that I’ve recently adopted.

You can do it at the end of the day before sleep or reflect first thing in the morning on the day before. I found the practise on Instagram and have found it useful for raising my vibration. I prefer to write in the morning as it sets me up for the day ahead.

The first question is: ‘Name three moment of kind did you show to others or experience from other people?’ This question makes me appreciate all the small things that the people around me do and also encourages me to do/ share more kindness to others. After doing this for a few weeks it surprised me how often it’s strangers that show kindness.

The next question is: ‘Name 3 joys from yesterday’ again, this requires me to reflect on my day with a positive perspective and often it’s the small moments that give me the biggest boost when I write them down.

The third question is: ‘Three things you did well?’ Firstly, when I went to do this I was taken back, apart from the odd office impact narrative, I haven’t stated what I do well since I was a child, certainly not in writing and it was really challenging. After a few days I noticed that my inner voice had become a little more of a cheerleader and less a self saboteur.

Focusing on the good doesn’t stop the bad happening but I do believe it helps to balance out your perspective and often helps you to find solutions quicker. It also often means you attract other positive people and that can also help raise your collective vibration. The world is hard enough at times without surrounding yourself with opinions that drain you. If you give the questions or journal prompts a go, let me know in the comments below. Perhaps much like the lessons I’ve learnt from the journal prompts – it’s a little daily practice that may help your mental health and well-being hugely.

High expectations and deep humanity

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Principle in East Sussex

This week I was given a gift by a friend…this quote. It came from a Head Teacher my colleague was doing a visit with. These five words are how she encapsulated the vision for her school. When I heard these words my neuron pathways lit up like a Christmas tree with way too many lights on it…the ones where you can’t see the tree, basically I was in awe.

This is my new favourite quote and whilst I’ve joked about having it printed on a t-shirt, this is already underway and is waiting to be dispatched.

Taking the quote out of the education system and into any aspect of life, it works. Lets go big with examples first…imagine a world where everyone had high expectations, nobody was thought less of for disability, race, ethnicity or gender…but we look at the individuals journey and circumstances with empathy, we didn’t give out sanctions for children who don’t come to school in the correct uniform because we took time to speak to the individual and help them find solutions to those issues, surely this is the world we’d all love to see our children grow in.

Like all goals I prefer to start off small and then perhaps next week we’ll branch out into world domination.

For yourself, think about an aspect of your life that you’d like to improve on, if you were coaching you, what would you say you needed to do. *honestly, we all know what we need to do, we often don’t do it and hide behind reasons we can’t. Let’s say you’d like to improve your quality of sleep, you could make a list and include some nonnegotiable’s around the topic. For example, you’ll make sure you’re in bed at a certain time and you’re nonnegotiable’s could be that you won’t have your phone or blue light devices in the same room as you, you’ll stop drinking caffeinated beverages six hours before bed time, the list of what you will and won’t do may go on, as will your high expectations for sleep and exquisite sleep hygiene, this will become your daily norm. However, perhaps a full moon, a neighbours car alarm or the stress you also snuggled to sleep with disturbs you’re routine and you wake up beyond tired. Give yourself ‘deep humanity’ speak to the inner child and don’t criticise yourself. You did the best you could, you kept to your nonnegotiable’s, you will do better tonight. Kindness, forgiveness and love are three things we aren’t always great and giving ourselves.

Whilst I can’t suggest all of your sleep patterns will be corrected in a few nights, often these issues are complicated and influenced by many factors, I am going to speculate that your standard would improve and as a result and over time so would your sleep.

If we take the quote back to educational institutions; I am working daily to ensure that schools hold all children to high expectations despite data, life experiences and life chances. If we all thought each child could do better, they would become better. If we raised our standards our children would rise with us BUT only if they felt seen and heard as individuals. Children don’t fit into a policy designed for all, not all have the same lived experiences because children aren’t crayons in a box. But strong policies that do allow reasonable adjustments for individuals, schools that take time to give children a sense of belonging that’s something that is worth writing on a t-shirt close to my heart.

Get 1% better everyday

~ Fridgesays ~ Leave a comment

Quote Anon

As a little lady I’ve always known that ‘small steps’ led to reaching your destination, it may sometimes take a little longer but the victory is all the sweeter for it.

This weekend we took our son to a Rugby festival and small steps made all the difference to the team, they left winning all of their matches…the game play wasn’t superior, there wasn’t any new players but they made a few small changes…they spoke to each other during play, they used each others talents to serve the team and they came home winning every match.

Habits are crucial to reaching your goals, to living the life you truly want to. Small incremental moment of progress will always get you to your target and you often find any set backs are smaller too.

Take a moment to think about what you’d like to achieve. If it helps, write it down. From now until the end of time your job is to make that goal a reality, try not to give yourselves a time frame – having it happen is better than not. Many people think they fail because they lack resilience or loose focus. They usually don’t reach the goal because they don’t build habits to support them and when they do regress or decline, they internally berate themselves. If we feed ourselves negativity, we can’t expect the results to be positive.

So this week, speak kindly to yourself. You truly are your best friend. Look at the goal you wrote down for yourself and be that person a little more tomorrow. If you want to be someone that runs regularly, then create some habits that support that goal; leave your running clothes out for ease, set some nonnegotiable time in your calendar but most importantly be kind to yourself. Let’s be more specific: your goal is to run daily. If you are feeling fragile, exhausted or depleted from life you could still go out for a walk with your trainers on, it may be that the fresh air motivates you and you run the last two minutes home – you still ran that day and even if you didn’t, you’re nearer to your goal if you run ‘more’ days than you do now, so missing one here and there isn’t the end of the line. You don’t have to run more the next day, you don’t have to tell yourself you’ve failed. Kindness and daily habits should be your priority.

Some goals are hard to see how you can make small steps, if this is the case then I recommend you spending some time brainstorming all the things you’ll be able to do ‘one day’ then instead of the huge goal, work towards one of the ‘one days’ – any progress is success, even if you’re 1% closer.