Be a good person but don’t waste time proving it.

Quote Anon.

The word that sprung to mind was ‘integrity’ when I saw this quote. It’s so important when you have an audience to still do the same things when your audience has gone home.

Being ‘good’ is obviously a word thats open to interpretation, but proving it is something I find people who are often insecure in their self do. Lets face it many people suffer from ‘lack of self love love’ and we certainly all have days where the self love monster eats our souls and spits us out in a top thats too tight, eyeliner thats clearly thicker on one side than the other – and thats only if we can be bothered to open our make up boxes.

Self love aside, there is nothing worse than meeting a person, thinking they are ‘good’ (feel free to enter any other adjective of your choice in here – I’m partial to ‘kind’ and also ‘stupendous’, although I just looked up good in the thesaurus and ‘ship shape’ made me laugh), only to find a few meet ups down the line that they are more plastic than Tiny Tears.

However, don’t despair below I plan to outline my own survival guide of 2018 for surviving and even thriving around these people. Its a comprehensive guide and I hope will be of value to you and others, in true fridgesays manner I have created it in magnets.

In essence, if someone is good to you or others to impress you or so you think they are good, suck up their good vibes like a baby and their milk bottle and don’t worry about their motivations. If they are doing it to impress you, firstly be honoured they give a shizzle and then know that in time people always show their true colours. I believe Phil Collins (legend of the 90’s) created a song around this theme, aptly named ‘True colours” although I can’t recommend the song to you, the video is hilarious with more fist pumps than the average 90s classic.

If you are an ‘impress’ kind of person, take a moment to sit down. Think about your motivations – if you want to bake a cake for people or show kindness and compassion, do it…if you feel socially bound, don’t. I live in a village and my son attends the local school, some of the parents are lets say a little keen to get involved. I am not. If its in my sons interest, I’m there. If its not or of no interest to me, I’ll avoid it like I do day time TV. I couldn’t give a scooby doo what any of the other parents thinks of me…why? because I don’t have the luxury of time to think about them and when I do have time, I’d rather show kindness to those in my tribe. I don’t aspire to be the class ‘rep’ Mum and I don’t wish to meet up with them in the holidays, unless my sons wants to see his friends.

I do think good role modelling is essential to our little peoples lives, and so try to be the best me. This summer I am planning a series of ‘acts of kindness’ to others beyond and within our tribe to educate my son on being grateful for what we have, sharing and giving to those that don’t.

So please, if you are anxious about what others think of you, spend the energy of loving you a little more and I promise what others think will become irrelevant.

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24 thoughts on “Be a good person but don’t waste time proving it.

  1. I was once invited on a hen weekend by my husbands friends fiancé. We had never really gelled but felt I should go as she had invited me. It was on a ferry to Amsterdam that out of the blue she took exception to me and everyone stopped talking to me. I couldn’t even go home. I was older than everyone else and was absolutely fuming by the time I got home. Especially as minutes before the ferry docked she claimed it had all been a misunderstanding!!! Since then I have always been cautious when people are being “good” to me. I remain as kind as I can be with others. But as you say you can only give so much before you lose your integrity. Great post 🙂

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  2. Such a powerful post and great advice. I’m guilty of putting others first so often even if they make me feel like shit. I need to start approaching life like a project at work. What are my goals and what’s the detritus I can get rid of! Focusing on the good can only have good consequences #thesatsesh

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    1. Oprah sets intentions for everything, a little like you mentioned with projects at work, but also when she meets people etc. It does work (when I remember to do it)

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  3. This is one of my fave quotes . It’s taken me to this age now to try to back off on the people pleasing,I’ve done it forever and it just ends up in me using my time doing things I really don’t want to! So daft! #thesatsesh

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  4. I can honestly say I am at the point in life I don’t care what people think of me. I want them to think I am a nice, kind, giving person but beyond that…this is not high school anymore. #thatsatsesh

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  5. I have a sort of unofficial policy that if I have to work too hard to impress someone or get someone to like me, then it’s not worth it. I’m generally a good person anyway. #thesatsesh

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  6. Great quote. I think I spent a long time trying to prove I was good as growing up I was always told to do my best. I find myself still using this phrase with my kids and I really dislike it now because I think our kids need to know that it’s ok to fail. Its ok to have an off day. There is too much pressure to always be good. #thesatsesh

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  7. It must be exhausting for those people who are trying to ‘proving’ they are good/nice/kind. I agree it’s about integrity – it’s also about being authentic as well. Fab quote and post reflecting on it (of course :-)) xx #thesatsesh

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  8. I am not so much guilty of trying to appear to be good, but I definitely have issues worrying about what others think. It’s something I’m really trying to work on. I wish I was a person who just didn’t care.
    I hear you about school stuff though. I think some people join in as they think that their kids will get preferential treatment, but I’m not remotely interested.
    #thesatsesh

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