Tears are words the heart can’t say

Quote from Gerard Way

Have you ever been to a funeral, wedding or a supermarket and cried, yet deep down you aren’t really sure why?

I’ve decided that speaking is over rated, which will come as a shock for those that know me, especially my Mum. I have verbal diarrhoea most of the time. That said, my best bits of my day are usually moments of still, calm and peace in a life of chaos and sounds, tick lists and diary plans. It’s in these moments that I find true happiness, it can be seeing the sun rise or set, having white washing on the line (fresh linen is one of my favourite smells), it can be pizza in the oven or even better delivered on my doorstop with no hassle from me, but very often it’s a hug from a friend rather than the words that accompany it that I like the most.

Sometimes I cry and am not sure why I’m crying. I can cry because I’m happy, over excited or overwhelmed. At other times I can’t remember the last time I had a ‘good cry’ and that’s usually the time I decide to put on a romantic comedy and tear jerk my way through ninety   minutes of delight and despair, the cheesier the better and served with pizza is once again a bonus.

When I was learning to live with grief I had a Marmite moment. Perhaps you’ve had one of these? It goes like this:

It was around 11am and I fancied something to eat, I decided on some marmite and toast. As I was buttering the toast I began to cry, I wasn’t really sure why I was crying so carried on buttering and blubbering. As I reached for the Marmite I began to laugh at myself and it was at this point Mr F walked in to find me sobbing my heart out, snot flowing, hyperventilating gasps and laughing all at the same time. His response was priceless and went something like “if you don’t like Marmite just have butter’ this of course made me laugh a little more and eventually in a big hug I was able to explain that I didn’t have a clue why I was crying. He then laughed at me and said it was grief and that it often catches you out at the most odd moments. Since then I’ve always been cautious with Marmite on toast and fully understand that it’s okay to not always know why you feel the way you do. You just do.

I do think those magic tears often allow us to vent emotions that the mouth can’t process. I think they are fundamentally important to our wellbeing and although I don’t cry very often, I sometimes allow myself to wallow in them or break out in laughter tears which always let me know life is pretty spectacular.

Some people don’t cry, ever. I’m not convinced and wonder if they let it out in different ways – perhaps their eyelids get sweaty? Have you ever had a Marmite moment or cried just because? I can’t be the only one…can I?

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53 thoughts on “Tears are words the heart can’t say

  1. Yep I’ve definitely had those daft moments where the tears come but you’re not really sure why. Sometimes it’s because I’m just really tired and there’s no milk left, other times it’s because my kids have done something really cute! I think it’s nice to have a good cry sometimes x #familyfunlinky

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  2. I’ve totally had a ‘Marmite’ moment before – I think sometimes you just need a good cry, maybe because you have emotions that you’ve been suppressing. It can be embarrassing if it happens publicly, but it’s better to get it all out. #familyfunlinky

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  3. Firstly, I love this post!! You most definitely are not the only one. I actually feel sorry for those that don’t have such moments. Crying and that release of emotion is good for the soul. Like a cleanse almost. I’m so with you my lovely #FamilyFun Oh and I so won’t be able to see Marmite ever in the same way again! Marmite moments – love!

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  4. I have these moments. I had a miscarriage in July and every now and then I’ll have a random cry and won’t know what triggered it. I’ve also done the hysteric cry laugh too. Surprised my husband hasn’t had my commited haha x

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  5. I have had many over these moments, especially over the last year since losing my dad. It happens less now, but still catches me on occasion x
    #TriumphantTales

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  6. I love a good cry, like I will happily cry at X Factor and think nothing of it. I am sure it is my way of getting emotions out. The real stuff I don’t tend to cry so much but give me some crappy telly and I am babbling. Also like you say sometimes I think we just need to, we may not always know why but it is our way of processing our emotions. Sometimes they get you when you least expect it! Thanks for joining us at #familyfun

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  7. You are most definitely not alone. I have moments like that all the time and they seemingly come from nowhere. Letting it out always helps though, I find if I try to hold it in I end up having a full on meltdown in the not too distant future. There’s a reason all those weepy films leave us feeling somewhat lighter afterwards x
    #DreamTeam

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  8. Oh I have marmite moments every month! My husband has learnt that a hug is the best thing he can do but that it will make me cry more initially! I love that quote tho xx #familyfunlinky

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  9. I used to be one who never cried. There were truly horrible moments and I just couldn’t cry…. but now I cry all the time! Haha. I think you’re spot on about it being a way to express yourself when you don’t have the words for it #triumphanttales

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  10. My definition of a good movie is one that moves me and makes me feel emotions, definitely one that makes me cry! And after becoming a mom, I just cannot control the tears anymore. Lol. Comes with the package I guess. #thesatsesh

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  11. Great post lovely. ‘Marmite moments’ hit at strange times. I have ‘enjoyed’ inspection this week so have had a few of them; one in the school cupboard. Not a place to blub but I felt much better afterwards!
    Until I experienced it I didn’t understand the grief ‘process’. Process? I thought. That’s weird. But it IS a process and the marmite moment you experiences is all part if it. I hope you are ok if this was a recent moment.
    #satsesh

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  12. Oh yes, I have definitely had moments where I have started crying and had no idea why. In Asda once I was stood in the bakery aisle trying to choose a cake and I just started crying, this was about 3 weeks after my baby was born though so I’m blaming lack of sleep and hormones. I definitely think a good old cry can actually make you feel better xx #thesatsesh

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  13. Just this week, I was feeling a bit lost for a number of reasons. At the same time, my 2yo had lost his favourite toy plane. I was just cursing the universe that I couldn’t find the darn plane, then I bent over and suddenly found it. Then I burst into tears, because it felt like a sign that everything is going to work out fine. Just when you’re feeling discouraged, things can turn around. I wasn’t sure whether I was crying about the plane or something else, but I’m glad I did. Great post. #thesatsesh

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  14. You’re certainly not alone. I cried over a misprinted business card once :/ often need a good cry for no apparent reason, but I trust my body to know what it needs to do to maintain equilibrium. It can be harrowing or cathartic, but either way it never lasts forever. Love the marmite anecdote, I actually lol’d πŸ˜€
    Thanks for sharing and normalising tears πŸ™‚ x
    #thesatseshalice

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  15. Oh yes, these moments just creep up on you don’t they. It’s usually when you have moments of calm that your emotions kick in. It’s good to have a cry time to time x
    #thesatsesh

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  16. Emotions are so overwhelming and when they catch us unaware it can be quite hilarious to others around us due to the randomness. Since becoming a mum, my crying has doubled and reasons behind the crying has become weirder!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow!

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  17. Just popping back again because someone added this post to the #blogcrush linky (feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge) but this post has been playing on my mind since I read it – my friend is really ill at the moment and I have been so weepy. Even when I’m not consciously thinking about them, I feel weepy. I have been taking comfort in the sentiments of this post #blogcrush

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  18. Bloody love this post. I used to be an eyelid sweater.Never cried , in hindsight it was a really unhealthy way to be and caused me no end of emotional problems, till one a switch flicked and now anything can set me off but I much prefer this!! Love your husband’s reaction by the way!! #BlogCrush

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  19. I have been saving up reading this post for a while as I knew I wanted to really savour it. I sooooo get this and have learned to love being a bit of a crier – having for years felt a bit ashamed about how emotional I can get. Tears are an amazing cathartic release and they can hit when you least expect it. Thank you so much for sharing this and for making us all feel normal and remembering that tears are special. I love the humour with Mr F’s comment too! Lots of love xx #thesatsesh

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  20. Honey, I have been saving up reading this post for a while because I knew it would be a special one and wanted to give it some time to read. I bloody love it! I am a crier and have struggled over the years with this – feeling ashamed of how emotional I can be at random times. However, over the years and as this post says I’ve realised tears really do heal and you put this so beautifully. I love the humour re Mr F too. Big hugs xx #thesatsesh

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  21. I used to not be able to cry at all. In fact, my therapist was certain that I exercised so often to sweat out the tears. She was right. Now, I can cry at the drop of a hat, a reminiscent smell, a thought, a radio news show. Heck, just about anything. Let it out! It;s always better out than in… #Triumphanttales x0x0

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