As for my girls, I’ll raise them to think they can breathe fire 

~ Fridgesays

Quote by Jessica Kirkland.

Sometimes I write a post in my sleep and wake up with an urge to get it typed up. This is one of those posts as this quote spoke to my soul.

I am a human, a member of a race that I’m mostly ashamed of. I choose not to be a feminist because categories breed further division and I don’t wish to be equal due to my vagina disability. I was born like it, apparently just under half the worlds population similarly suffer from it. It doesn’t hold me back and I do believe that it shouldn’t nor should it let anyone else, although I’m not naive to know that this is not the case for all women. I’m raising a son to respect humans, animals and the world around him – the world is crying out for loving. Gender is mostly irrelevant – if he wants to paint his nails, he can. I couldn’t give a crap about blue or pink toys and I’m happy to be the bread winner in my tribe, I’ve breast fed in public and I don’t need a trophy for this, however before I get truly ‘ranty’ this isn’t what I liked to discuss, ranting is too easy and negative.

For regular Fridge readers you’ll know that my first step into motherhood began with the birth of a baby girl. She was too precious for this earth and quickly fled for greater things. However, before she left we had some precious time together and she branded me a ‘Mummy’. I loved it and always will.

Before I knew I was pregnant, I went for a job at an all girls school. I got the job, then found out I was pregnant and had an awkward email to write which when something along the lines of ‘I’d love the job…by the way’ and I’ve been at the same school since 2009.

Part of my title is ‘Nurture Teacher'(seriously cool title) and it translates as many things but also allows me to help heal a lost teenage soul, who is going through a traumatic time or has been damaged due to life delivering them a hard hand earlier in life. This quote resonates with my 9-5 life. I see potential and sparkle in everyone of my girls. They are each unique and whether they are dealing with mental health issues, stuck in the system of being a looked after child or simply grieving for a loved one, we ride together through the pressures of academic attainment and the triumphant and tragic events that daily life brings.

It’s a privilege that they let me in when many doors to their very beings are closed. Like all members of staff, I have an ID tag and it states my name, job title and amongst it the word ‘Teacher’. I wear it with pride (and because Health and Safety dictate I have to) and ive realised that my classes often misunderstands the concept of a teacher – someone who will guide or do things for them, tell them or help them when times are tough. They miss the word ‘each’ hidden in the word, probably consumed by the towering T in front. To me, it means each one matters and each one has something to teach me about this crazy world. You see I would never have understood how rejection can consume, mental health can debilitate families and disorders that involve food – be it too little or too much can poison families to collapse…

But my girls can breathe fire. I remind them to turn each day around and I teach them all the things I will never have the honour of being able to teach my own daughter. To hold their heads high, to kick ass in academic challenges; especially GCSE’s which will open new doors for them beyond my classroom and watchful eye.

My girls can do anything they wish to dream, go anywhere they chose to fly – they are fierce but not because society has labelled them ‘female’, not because we are still battling for equality but because my 16 years old girls have already been through tragic events, overcome them and are better for it, otherwise whats the point if you don’t learn from the journey. The fire in them burns deep and I truly believe in all of them, each and everyone.

Sadly, some will be consumed by the fire and won’t make it out of the ashes, others will do okay and make do, which is perfectly fine with me – after all Im not present in their lives to dictate their destination. However, ever few years I get the privilege of working with a pupil who has so much potential it ignites my own fire. I know that however fragile they might be in this very moment with hard work and a clearer perspective, wonderful moments are just around the corner for them.

If you have the privilege or being a Mother to a child – no matter what colour, creed or gender – don’t let them ‘think’ they can breathe fire…show them how its done and tell them they already can.

69 thoughts on “As for my girls, I’ll raise them to think they can breathe fire ”

  2. Oh this is just pure magic! Just wonderful and your girls are so damn lucky to have you as a teacher – what a wonderful role model! All schools should have a you for sure – someone to look out for and to encourage them. Truly remarkable! #MarvMondays

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  3. This is beautiful and brilliant. I didn’t know about your little girl and so sorry to hear of your heartbreak. Having been there too I know how hard it is but also how you can cherish the time you did have. Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays x

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    1. Tbh I think of time with her in a very positive light. We sued due to negligence so I feel like she made a positive impact on the world and helped other babies not to suffer. This makes it much easier for me to live with. Sorry you also have experience though, it isn’t one I’d recommend.

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      2. thanks hun x yes, lots of lovely things have happened since and the ward is set up better for grieving Mums (rather than being placed back on the ward surrounded by new families)

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  4. As Helen says, your girls and your school are so lucky to have you. You sound totally inspirational and in schools, where it is all too easy for pupils to feel lost, or to go unnoticed, the attention you are giving them could well be life-changing. Alison x #MarvMondays

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  5. My gosh I love this, such powerful words, I really enjoyed reading it. I’ve been writing about kindness and humanity in the last few weeks, so this really resonated with me. Young people seem to have to deal with so much these days (though I suppose that hasn’t really changed much over time, its just everyone is now more aware), and the current state of things upsets me, the lack of tolerance and very open promotion of racism & sexism, it terrifies me for my children’s sake. But, like you say, we can make a difference, in teaching, educating and encouraging them, from school and home.

    It sounds like these kids are pretty lucky to have you and I’m sure if not right away they will realise that one day. #MarvMondays

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  6. This is such a great post! It is important for us to instill this into our daughters. I wish so hard that my mother had done this for us. We do breathe fire and can do anything!! Thanks for sharing! #dreamteam

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  7. What a beautiful idea and teaching all our children this will go a long way. Your school is lucky to have you fighting their corner! #candidcuddles

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  9. I am truly in awe of this post! I am left feeling a range of emotions, so touched and empowered by what you have written that I am on the verge of tears. I love the way you touched on ‘each’ because they all matter, our girls, our boys, everyone and every animal too. You are an inspiring woman! This should be shared with all teachers and all parents, and even those who are not parents. It is brilliant! #candidcuddles

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    1. Thanks, comments like this make keeping this blog going worthwhile. We all need to matter more, to ourselves and each other – irrelevant of gender.

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  13. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, no one should have to experience losing a child. I love how you put your energy into teaching and nurturing those girls, you truly are an inspiration. I’m so glad you decided to write this post, I often have posts that arrive as I’m falling asleep but they rarely make it on the blog, or somehow the words don’t arrive so eloquently as I first imagined they would.
    #BlogCrush

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    1. Thanks, yes sometimes they just call to you don’t they, posts. Oh don’t be sorry – Gracie gave us so much in a short space of time. Plus it’s puts things / life into perspective.

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  14. This is so inspirational, as with so many of your posts. You must be such a brilliant teacher! I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through but perhaps that’s given you so much along the way. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

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  15. This is fantastic, I really loved reading this post, you drew me in & kept my attention through your gorgeous story. I love the ending about how your fire gets ignited now & then by some of your students & the great advice to show your children the fire they already have. Just perfection! Thank you for sharing with us at #candidcuddles xx

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  17. What an amazing teacher you must be, your girls are very lucky to have you. This post is so inspiring and I love your final sentence. Also, I want to put inspiring quotes on my fridge! Congratulations, this post was linked up to #BlogCrush as someone’s favourite post xx

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  18. This is amazing. So well written as always. Your school and students are so lucky to have you. I know firsthand exactly what difference a good teacher can make and I know that you’re one of the greats. I hope when Roo grows up she has a teacher like you. #thesatsesh.

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  19. What a truly inspirational post! My 4 year old girl believes she can breathe fire now, but I suspect I’ll have to help her hold onto that thought as she grows up. I’ll try to remember your wise words. #thesatsesh

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  21. Pingback: As for my girls, I’ll raise them to think they can breathe fire  – Rose-tinted ramblings of a Less Ordinary Life

  26. I think it is important for girls to learn early on they can accomplish anything they set their minds to do. It is so important! #thatsatsesh

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  27. I read this before bed last night and it brought up so many emotions I didn’t know how to respond. I still don’t really! This is such a powerful post. I love your comment about seeing kids with huge potential and the effect it has on you. You have the opportunity to change so many lives for the better as a teacher, of course we can do the same as parents. Your sign off comment about role modeling behaviour and empowering our kids has set me up for the day (and hopefully longer!) – life has been so busy lately I’ve kind of lost sight of the important things in a sea of overwhelm. I needed to read a post like this. Thank you xx #Thesatsesh

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  28. THis is a truly inspirational posts, you are doing such a great job, you are the teacher I always wanted to have as a student. #thesatsesh

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  29. What an inspiring post and I love that quote. You sound like a fab teacher – your girls at school are very lucky to have you! #thesatsesh

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  30. I would love to have been taught by you. I would love my son to be taught by you. But most importantly, I think you are massively important for all of our young girls out there. Our world is an unequal one and girls will always have to battle harder. The only way they are going to be able to survive and thrive is to truly believe that they can breathe fire. Pen x #thesatsesh

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  32. What a fabulous post. Truly inspirational. I do how you’re girls get to read this one. I used to teach in an inner city London all girls school so I know how tough it can be… also how brilliant it can be. Love your positivity #thesatsesh

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  34. This is truly inspirational and you’re clearly a great teacher. Like you I don’t like labels and ‘feminist’ is one that I could rant about all day. Every single child should know they have the power to dictate their own future and to chase their dreams, whatever they may be.
    #thesatsesh

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