You can, end of story.

~ Fridgesays

Quote from Anon…she is so busy writing quotes here, there and all over Pinterest.


Last week I witnessed yr11 pupils with a motivational teachers giving them the skills to revise. It was interactive and the speaker was a charismatic character of wonder. Looking around the room I was pleased with how many pupils were eating out of his hands and absorbing his top tips and pearls of wisdom…and then sadness hit, there were some who heard the word ‘revision’ ‘exams’ and turned off into a world of denial, self doubt and teenage misery. 

I wanted to shake them (didn’t, this is frowned on) and sprinkle some smiles and love over them. I wanted to say ‘you’re 15yrs old with this negative vibration life is going to be long, hard what have you got to lose by giving it a go’. Although I realise teenage-ism is a temporary disability that many adults have moved on from and achieved, it made me think.

It made me ponder on my power as a role model, both as a teacher and a mother. As a parent it’s a little harder if I’m honest, I have this inner desire to bubble wrap my bundle, to shield him from the dark, to scoop him up when he falls – even though I know I need to let him learn for himself, build resilience and stand back. (*sighs at the thought of not being able to do the above bubble wrapping process every moment of every day; and add a bow because presentation matters)

Building self esteem, resilience and faith in our children starts so soon after they enter the world, it’s a role models duty to emulate this…but how can we when doubt disability looms over adults just as much as the young?

After much analysis and a glass of wine I think I needed to remind myself that my son and my pupils need to see me succeed and fail. To learn from the fail, to get up, apologise where necessary and to try again. To admit that I’m scared, anxious or blooming terrified and to do it anyway. To let them see the process because fear is usually irrational, it blocks us and excuses us from moving forward. To watch me try, to leave my comfort zone, to not moan and be pleased with myself even when I didn’t get much out of the process. Most importantly and full of power I want my classes and my less bubble wrapped little man to see that I can. End of story. 


38 thoughts on “You can, end of story.”

  2. There is a constant battle inside to not overdo, over fuss, over everything just like you. First, I’m like a toddler with cake when it comes to bubble wrap and wouldn’t stop until every bubble is popped and then my kid would be like..really? But I mentally wrap her with that stuff every day…because as her mom I’m petrified of not being able to protect her. But yet, she comes home. And I have to know that she’s “got this” as my 10 year old tells me when I fret too much! Great post again!!! Sparkle on!! Don’t forget 🙂 fist bump, secret handshake…haha.

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  3. I completely agree. I have realised that I need my children to see that I can do things, I can fail and I can pick myself up again. It’s so important to be that role model – a great post! #ablogginggoodtime

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  5. Abso bloody lutely!!!! I wish our schools were nearer so we could colaborate!! This is sooooo important. Even the little things….when there’s a typo on the board and someone points it out, rather than being ultra defensive I make a thing of mistakes happening and thanking them for correcting me….. I even remind my Y13s of the time when I fell over in the teacher’s race at sports day (oh the shame) as they were Y9s at the time (I have got over it honestly!) and so I need them to see that things happen and we move on….. I produced a staff handout on mindset and one of the tips was to share our failures with the kids…they need to know it’s ok… I also say we must model disagreeing politely with each other too as I think this is ultra important….anyway I’ll stop waffling now. Great post as ever and so pleased your school still has money for inspirational external speakers for Y11s – those days have gone for us unfortunately. xx #ablogginggoodtime

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  6. It’s such a hard lesson to learn (and teach). Growing up, I always thought it was better to be a “realist” rather than go for something and then feel like a failure. Now I’m learning that actually, when you try something and reach for a goal, you can achieve things (my blog is one of them). A positive mindset can bring you all kinds of things and can set set you up to achieve your goals. Your pupils are very lucky to have a teacher like you #MarvMondays

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    1. Firstly, thank you for the compliment. But you need to blog about this, highlight your pos mindset for achieving your blog, it will serve your own children well to hear about your fears and that you still did it.

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  8. This is fabulous for some Monday motivation. A negative attitude will never get us anywhere and I frequently remind my 8byear old that she needs to test herself to progress when she starts complaining “it’s too hard”. Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays

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  9. I completely agree – so much of life is about attitude, and I think it’s fair to say that I didn’t have the best one as a teenager. I definitely gave everything a go, and did really well academically, but I always had a big fear of failure, which I do think held me back in lots of ways. Not blaming my parents, as they only ever expected me to try my best, but looking back I don’t think I ever saw them fail at anything either – good food for thought for me as a parent now. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

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  12. I’m always really conscious of when my ‘being-a-wimpism’ rubs off on my son. He has a natural fascination of bugs, but due to my whimpering he now is scared of spiders and I feel so guilty over it! I know this is a slightly different kind of failing, but I’m hoping some of the larger woes don’t rub off on him too! x

    #MarvMondays

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  13. Cry – I wrote a comment but it didn’t send! I’m always worried that I’m exposing my boys to my ‘being-a-wimpism’ but I’m hoping they stick to their boisterousness for years to come! x

    #MarvMondays

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  14. Love this weeks phrase and the message behind it. It’s tough letting go so people can learn on their own, but it’s so important. I know I will always find this hard with my daughter but really have to hold myself back! #MarvMondays

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  16. I completely agree. I want my girls to see me fail at things and then watch how I deal with it. Its such an important lesson to learn. I definitely have never pushed myself at times in my life for fear of failure and I want to teach my girls the opposite. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

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  17. Love this post! And I hope my girls have a teacher like you when they are in secondary school. We also say in our house ‘practice makes perfect’, ‘try everything once’ and ‘if you really want it don’t give it up’. #MarvMondays. X

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  20. Pingback: Everything is figureoutable | Whatmyfridgesays

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